You’ve probably heard of ghosting and gaslighting. But there’s a newer, subtler danger lurking in modern relationships: ghostlighting. It’s sneaky, confusing, and, until recently, had no name.

Ghostlighting happens when someone disappears, with texts unanswered and calls ignored, and then, when they finally respond, they dismiss your feelings. Suddenly, you’re the “overthinking” one, questioning your own reaction. Unlike ghosting, which is abrupt and final, ghostlighting keeps you hanging in uncertainty. And unlike gaslighting, it doesn’t rely on lies; it works through inconsistency and minimization, leaving you second-guessing yourself.

Photo – Google

This isn’t just a dating quirk. Over time, ghostlighting can erode confidence, damage self-esteem, and make it hard to trust your instincts. It thrives in early relationships, but it can show up anywhere, even in long-term partnerships or friendships.

Photo – Google

How do you spot it? Watch for repeated patterns: disappearing for days or weeks, giving excuses that don’t match the behavior, dismissing your emotions, or making you feel “too sensitive.” If this sounds familiar, take it seriously. Healthy relationships are consistent, communicate openly, and respect boundaries. Ghostlighting is none of these.

Photo – Google

Naming ghostlighting isn’t about shaming anyone; it’s about recognizing harmful behavior. Once you see it for what it is, you can protect yourself, set limits, and trust your feelings again.

Relationships are complicated, but knowing the warning signs makes navigating them easier. Ghostlighting may be subtle, but understanding it is a step toward healthier connections and toward respecting yourself enough not to settle for anything less.

Christmas is approaching, and for many Nigerians, that means it’s almost time to bring out the lights, ornaments, and seasonal sparkle. But when exactly should you start decorating your home? The answer depends on your style, family, and how much holiday cheer you can enjoy without feeling stressed.

Photo: Google

Some households begin in November, turning their living rooms and balconies into sparkling mini-winter wonderlands. For families with kids, early decorations double as a countdown to the big day, building excitement with every string of lights and hanging ornament. Others prefer to wait until December, keeping everything fresh and impactful right up to Christmas Day.

Photo – Google

Local interior designers suggest a sweet spot: the last weekend of November. By then, homes can glow with holiday energy while staying lively and relevant through family visits, church services, and neighborhood celebrations. For offices and public spaces, decorating too early can make the season feel stretched, while waiting too long may leave little time for guests and staff to enjoy the festive mood.

Photo – Google

Ultimately, the “right time” is personal. Some Nigerian families start as soon as the streetlights twinkle and the scent of jollof fills the kitchen; others wait until Advent begins. Whether you begin early or late, the key is to enjoy the process. Hang your LED lights on the palm tree, string ornaments along the windows, or place a small Christmas tree in the living room for everyone to admire.

At the end of the day, it’s not the exact timing that matters but the joy, warmth, and shared moments that Christmas decorations bring to your home. So untangle those lights, set up your tree, and let your space celebrate the season, when it feels right for you.

Monogamism is the belief that people should practice monogamy not just the act of being with one partner, but the ideology that it is the ideal, proper, or preferred relationship structure. It sits at the intersection of culture, religion, personal values, and social expectation.

Unlike simple monogamy (the practice), monogamism is the viewpoint that monogamy is the correct model for romantic life. It is a framework shaped by upbringing, tradition, and personal boundaries.

Why People Choose It

Several factors influence why people embrace monogamism:
Cultural grounding: Many communities in Nigeria, though diverse, teach commitment to one partner as part of adulthood and responsibility.

Religious influence: Christianity and Islam have a strong presence across the country, and both introduce ideas around exclusivity, fidelity, and partnership.

Emotional structure: Some individuals feel more secure when their romantic life is centred on one person, with clear expectations and stability.

This isn’t about superiority. It’s about understanding how people align their relationships with their values.

How Modern Dating Has Complicated the Conversation

While monogamism remains common, the dating landscape in Nigeria is changing quickly. Social media, career-driven lifestyles, delayed marriage, and exposure to global relationship conversations have created a wider range of choices. These shifts challenge unspoken rules that once went unquestioned.
People now explore:

° Situationships

° Exclusive dating without long-term certainty

° Open relationships within specific circles

° Marriage-focused courtship

° Traditional monogamy

This makes monogamism more of an intentional choice than something inherited without question.

The Pressures Around Monogamism

Being monogamous is one thing; being expected to be monogamous is another. In Nigerian society, those pressures show up through:

° Family expectations

° Religious community standard

° Gendered assumptions about loyall

° Fear of judgement

° Fear of being labelled

° Concern about respectability