Let’s be honest , first dates in Nigeria can be both sweet and somehow awkward. You’re sitting across from someone you’re just getting to know, trying to keep the vibe flowing without it feeling like a job interview.

One wrong move, and the whole date can feel like a Nollywood drama.

But don’t worry. The key to breaking the ice is simple: small talk. The kind that feels natural, not forced. Not too deep, not too dry. Just easy, relatable, and warm like a chilled bottle of malt on a hot Lagos afternoon.

Here’s how to make small talk feel good and real on your first date:

1. Start With What’s Around You

Look around. The location, the music, the food, all of these can help kick off the conversation.

Example:

“This jollof is fire o, but not as good as my mum’s own sha.”

“I like the vibe of this place ,very calm. Have you been here before?”

It’s easy and gives you both something to laugh or talk about right away.

2. Ask About Daily Life

You don’t need deep questions yet. Ask about everyday stuff in a fun way.

Try:

“So how do you survive Lagos traffic without losing your mind?”

“Are you team amala or team rice every day?”

These are the types of questions that get people smiling.

3. Talk About Hustle, But Not Too Much

Work is important, but don’t make it the whole gist. Mix it up with passion and fun.

“What do you do for work?”

“If you didn’t have to hustle for money, what would you be doing instead?”

This gives insight without sounding too serious or calculated.

4. Be Real About Yourself Too

Don’t just ask, share! That’s how people connect.

Example:

“Honestly, I almost cancelled today because my barber gave me the worst haircut. But I said, no wahala, let me show up like that.”

Let them see the human side of you not just the “trying to impress” version.

5. Use Humor

Crack light jokes. Naija humor is rich and relatable.

Example:

“Have you ever had a tailor tell you ‘it’s almost ready’, and three weeks later, you’re still waiting?”

Everybody can relate to that one. The point is to say something your date can relate to

6. Talk About Home, Friends, & Small Memories

We love stories in Nigeria. So share a little.

Ask or say:

“What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you in secondary school?”

“My grandma once told me if I whistle at night, spirits will slap me. I believed her for years!”

These small stories can spark big laughs and deep connection.

7. End With Sweet Words

As the date winds down, say something kind.

Example:

“I really enjoyed this. You’re easy to talk to, I didn’t expect it to go this well.”

No need for shakara. If you had a nice time, say so.

Final Thoughts

Small talk isn’t small when it builds real connection. It’s not about being perfect it’s about being present, being yourself, and letting things flow.

So next time you go on a first date, don’t carry tension. Just show up, talk small, laugh loud, and enjoy the ride.

Who knows? That one conversation might just lead to something beautiful.

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Do you and your partner struggle to match each other sex drive? Are you always in the mood, but your partner isn’t always ready or says “let’s make it tomorrow?” It is common for couples to have mismatched sex drives as everyone isn’t the same. However, finding a solution to this sexual incompatibility should be the priority.

Partners with mismatched sex could be tempted to cheat if they aren’t satisfied. Some causes of these sexual mismatches are stress, depression, poor diet, health issues, and insomnia. Here are 6 tips on how couples can make their sexual lives better.

Communication

The best way to solve sex drive mismatch in the relationship is when both partners open up to one another. Everyone is different when it comes to sexual appetite and drive, so it’s therefore important that couples confide in one another. Being open about individual sexual preferences can go a long way to make intimacy better.

Make Compromises

With many couples with sex drive mismatch, one major problem they have is resentment. The partner with the higher libido feels sad that they can’t be satisfied, while the one with the lower libido feels that efforts aren’t appreciated enough. Here are some ways that compromise could work :

• Discuss sex more.
• Foreplay should be promoted.
• Efforts should be appreciated.

These compromises will help deflate any tension that may be caused by sex. However, it is also helpful to talk to a renowned sex therapist for more recommendations.

Masturbate

Another way to help couples with sex drive mismatch is by encouraging masturbation. There are several benefits that masturbation offers to both men and women. With healthy masturbation, there will be limited tensions and urges for couples with high libido. Some advantages of masturbation for couples are :

• Sexual Relief
• Better Self-Esteem
• More Sexual Satisfaction
• 

Alternative Sexual Practices

Unsatisfied couples could also try other sexual practices to make intercourse more enjoyable. Focusing on just traditional sex might be boring, but when you spice up your bedroom activity, couples might enjoy their sex more. Some alternative sexual activities that could benefit those with sexual mismatch are :

• Using sex toys like cock rings and vibrators
• Spanking, clamps, blindfolding, and other light BDSM acts
• Watching pornography with your partner
• Flirting regularly

There are numerous adult toy sites that offer quality and safe products to willing partners. The toys on this platform are affordable and benefit willing partners.

Read Also : 6 ways to spice up your relationship 

Practice More Intimacy

There is more to sex than just making out. While intercourse is the main menu, it’s better to start with refreshments. Foreplay like cuddling, hugging, and kissing can be a good way to solve sex drive mismatch issues. Aside from this, helping your partner and complimenting them regularly helps foster a better sexual relationship.

Female doctor consulting a family

Visit a Medical Practitioner

When you have tried out several solutions, and there are no significant results, it might be a health issue. A visit to your doctor is recommended, as they will be in the best position to help out. You and your partner might need to undertake some tests to ascertain where the problem lies and which medications can help. If it’s a mental issue, the doctor could refer you to a psychologist.

Final Thoughts

Sex drive mismatch can be frustrating for couples; however, it can be worked on. Partners need to communicate more, try more intimacy, and indulge in alternative sexual practices. These and more can help promote healthy sexual relationships and improve sexual life.

Dating apps are probably taking over the dating scene in recent times. We are in an age where technology has taken over most aspects of human living, the dating scene not excluded. The dating scene is undergoing a transformation which a few people are yet to get used to. Instead of Meeting people physically and by chance in schools, churches and social gatherings, romantic connections now grow from just a DM on social media. 

Social media apps like tinder, bumble, hinge and so many dating apps have taken the lead to match single individuals to their potential significant other. However, there lies a question in the heart of many.  And this question is how effective dating apps are in connecting people to their potential romantic partners? The measure of its effectiveness cuts across different dimensions such as social, psychological, relational and so on. Stay put while we discuss both the benefits and the limitations of dating apps. 

What is the Success Rate of Dating Apps? 

The major indicator of how effective dating apps are is how much its users get hooked into meaningful and thriving relationships. 

A study conducted in 2019 found that relationships that were started online have more likelihood to last longer and result in marital satisfaction than those that started offline. In fact, it is said that online dating is the most common way in which couples meet, as opposed to meeting through friends, in church or social gatherings and at work. 

That being said, the success of these apps vary depending on the user intent. Individuals seeking more casual relationships might find them more easily. However, those seeking for something more serious and deeper might face some challenges as they have to go through countless profiles, meet so many people with different ideologies and mixed intentions. 

Advantages of Dating Apps. 

There are quite a number of benefits of using social media dating apps. Some of them include: 

Wide Range of Options. 

Dating apps broaden and offer a wider range of opportunities to meet potential partners. This diversity increases one’s chance of meeting their dream partner, one who shares their dreams and has similar interests. 

Read Also: How to Deal with a Narcissistic Partner

More Control on Matches. 

Users of these dating apps can filter what they want through keywords like age, religion, educational status and many others. This helps them to narrow down to what they want and make more targeted interactions. 

Provides Opportunities for Shy or Socially Anxious Individuals. 

A large number of people are shy and very anxious when they have to meet people that they are not used to, for the first time. These apps give them the opportunity to get used to these potential partners first before getting to meet them, hence, a higher chance for them to meet their own persons. 

Disadvantages of Dating Apps. 

Despite the number of advantages, there are quite a number of downsides to these dating apps. Some of them include: 

Emotional Fatigue.

These apps have normalized ghosting; the act of suddenly withdrawing from people without any explanations. These acts can lead to emotional distress and self doubt, especially for those who seek genuine connections. The constant cycle of matching, talking then ghosting can lead to emotional burnout. 

Safety Concerns. 

While some of these dating apps put measures in place to improve the safety of their users, these apps make it easier for predators to get their preys, and this leads to an increase in cases of sexual harassment, assault, and scams. Most users, despite having talked to potential partners for a while, still have to be extra vigilant while meeting in-person for the first time. 

Conclusion. 

Dating apps are quite effective. However, while they can lead to meaningful and lasting relationships, they can also lead to emotional trauma. You are therefore advised to make use of them wisely, intentionally and with maturity.