Sex & Relashionships

We Have Stopped Having Sex: (How this happened amongst couples)

Published

8 months ago

12 August 2024

Sex is a vital aspect of any romantic relationship, serving as a powerful bonding agent that fosters emotional intimacy, trust, and connection. However, many couples face the challenge of a dwindling sex life, leading to feelings of detachment, resentment, and disconnection. Let’s delve into the consequences of a sexless marriage, explore the underlying reasons, and provide guidance on how to rekindle the spark and maintain open communication.

The Underlying Reasons for a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can be a complex and sensitive issue, often stemming from a combination of emotional, psychological, and lifestyle factors. While every situation is unique, some common underlying reasons for a sexless marriage include:

1. Communication Breakdown: Poor communication, lack of emotional intimacy, and unaddressed conflicts can lead to a decline in sexual desire and connection. Learn to communicate your feelings to your spouse. Don’t shut them out, it makes them feel appreciated and wanted.

2. Intimacy Issues: Past traumas, body image concerns, or intimacy issues can create a barrier to physical connection and emotional vulnerability.

3. Infidelity: Betrayal of trust through infidelity can lead to a loss of desire, emotional disconnection, and a sexless marriage. No one wants to share her spouse with another. Cheating has a way of wrecking an existing love or intimacy in a union.

4. Stress and Fatigue: High levels of stress, fatigue, and exhaustion can make sex seem like a chore, rather than a enjoyable experience.

5. Medical Concerns: Certain medical conditions, such as hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or erectile dysfunction, can impact sexual desire and performance.

6. Lifestyle Factors: Busy schedules, parenting responsibilities, and other lifestyle factors can leave little time or energy for sex. When children begin to come in a marriage the attention of the couple becomes divided. This means more work for the man and more attention towards the kids for the woman. It can be a lot and this tends to make a couple lose their sexual spark.

7. Unresolved Conflicts: Unaddressed conflicts, resentments, and unresolved issues can create tension and disconnection in the relationship.

8. Personal Issues: Personal struggles, such as depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, can impact sexual desire and overall well-being.

9. Pornography and Addiction: Pornography addiction or other forms of addiction can lead to a decline in sexual desire for one’s partner. People who suffer from this addiction tend to love solo sex(masturbation) compared to having intimacy with ones partner. This is a huge problem that can alter sexual desires amongst couples.

10. Trauma and Abuse: Past experiences of trauma or abuse can impact sexual desire, intimacy, and emotional connection.

11. Lack of Sexual Compatibility: Incompatible sexual desires, preferences, or expectations can lead to a decline in sexual activity. Most partners live adventure. Having one pattern of sex style every time can lead to a dwindling sex life amongst couples.

Understanding the underlying reasons for a sexless marriage is crucial to addressing the issue. By identifying the root causes and working together, couples can begin to rebuild their emotional and physical connection, fostering a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.

Consequences of a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can have far-reaching consequences, affecting both partners’ emotional and psychological well-being. Some of the potential consequences include:

1. Emotional Detachment: A lack of physical intimacy can lead to emotional disconnection, causing partners to feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated.

2. Resentment and Anger: Unaddressed sexual issues can create resentment, anger, and frustration, potentially damaging the Union.

3. Low Self-Esteem: A sexless marriage can negatively impact self-esteem, making individuals feel undesirable, unattractive, or inadequate.

4. Infidelity: In some cases, a lack of sexual fulfillment can lead to infidelity, as one or both partners seek intimacy outside the union.

5. Depression and Anxiety: The emotional toll of a sexless marriage can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.

Revitalizing Intimacy and Communication

Rekindling the spark in a sexless marriage requires effort, commitment, and open communication. Here are some tips to help couples revitalize their intimacy and communication:

1. Schedule Quality Time: Regularly schedule quality time together, engaging in activities that promote emotional connection and intimacy.

2. Practice Active Listening: Make an effort to truly listen to each other, addressing concerns, desires, and needs.

3. Foster Emotional Intimacy: Cultivate emotional intimacy through vulnerability, empathy, and understanding.

4. Address Underlying Issues: Identify and address underlying issues, such as medical concerns, intimacy issues, or communication breakdowns.

5. Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or sex therapist to guide you through the process.

6. Be adventurous: explore other sex styles to reignite the spark in your sex life.

Best Ways to Build Effective Communication as a Couple

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. When both partners communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully, they can navigate life’s challenges together, strengthen their bond, and build a more resilient relationship. Here are the best ways for married couples to communicate effectively:

1. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, feelings, and needs. Show that you care about their emotions and validate their experiences.

2. Use “I” Statements: Instead of blaming or accusing your partner with “you” statements, express your thoughts and feelings using “I” statements. This helps avoid defensiveness and promotes ownership of your emotions.

3. Be Vulnerable: Create a safe space for vulnerability, sharing your desires, fears, and concerns with your partner. This fosters trust, intimacy, and deeper connection.

4. Active Listening: Engage in active listening by focusing on your partner, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. Avoid interrupting, dismissing, or planning your response while your partner speaks.

5. Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time for regular check-ins, discussing concerns, desires, and needs. This helps prevent resentment, misunderstandings, and feelings of neglect.

6. Choose the Right Time and Place: Consider the timing and setting for important conversations. Avoid discussing sensitive topics during conflicts, when tired, or in public.

7. Avoid Assumptions: Don’t assume you know what your partner thinks, feels, or needs. Instead, ask open-ended questions, seek clarification, and confirm understanding.

8. Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express genuine appreciation and gratitude for your partner, acknowledging their efforts, support, and love.

9. Foster a Positive Communication Environment: Establish a positive communication environment by being approachable, respectful, and non-judgmental.

10. Seek Clarification and Confirmation: Ensure understanding by seeking clarification and confirmation on important matters, avoiding miscommunications and misunderstandings.

By incorporating these effective communication strategies into your daily interactions, you and your partner can build a stronger, more resilient marriage, navigate life’s challenges together, and deepen your emotional connection. Remember, effective communication is a skill that takes practice, patience, and dedication.

Also, a strong marriage requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow together. To have a great sex life as couples never lose your spark of attraction, active communication and love.

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Related Topics:couples marriage relationship Sex Sexlife

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Sex & Relashionships

6 Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drive

Published

23 hours ago

7 April 2025

Fadire Olusola

Do you and your partner struggle to match each other sex drive? Are you always in the mood, but your partner isn’t always ready or says “let’s make it tomorrow?” It is common for couples to have mismatched sex drives as everyone isn’t the same. However, finding a solution to this sexual incompatibility should be the priority.

Partners with mismatched sex could be tempted to cheat if they aren’t satisfied. Some causes of these sexual mismatches are stress, depression, poor diet, health issues, and insomnia. Here are 6 tips on how couples can make their sexual lives better.

Communication

The best way to solve sex drive mismatch in the relationship is when both partners open up to one another. Everyone is different when it comes to sexual appetite and drive, so it’s therefore important that couples confide in one another. Being open about individual sexual preferences can go a long way to make intimacy better.

Make Compromises

With many couples with sex drive mismatch, one major problem they have is resentment. The partner with the higher libido feels sad that they can’t be satisfied, while the one with the lower libido feels that efforts aren’t appreciated enough. Here are some ways that compromise could work :

Discuss sex more.
Foreplay should be promoted.
Efforts should be appreciated.

These compromises will help deflate any tension that may be caused by sex. However, it is also helpful to talk to a renowned sex therapist for more recommendations.

Masturbate

Another way to help couples with sex drive mismatch is by encouraging masturbation. There are several benefits that masturbation offers to both men and women. With healthy masturbation, there will be limited tensions and urges for couples with high libido. Some advantages of masturbation for couples are :

Sexual Relief
Better Self-Esteem
More Sexual Satisfaction

Alternative Sexual Practices

Unsatisfied couples could also try other sexual practices to make intercourse more enjoyable. Focusing on just traditional sex might be boring, but when you spice up your bedroom activity, couples might enjoy their sex more. Some alternative sexual activities that could benefit those with sexual mismatch are :

Using sex toys like cock rings and vibrators
Spanking, clamps, blindfolding, and other light BDSM acts
Watching pornography with your partner
Flirting regularly

There are numerous adult toy sites that offer quality and safe products to willing partners. The toys on this platform are affordable and benefit willing partners.

Practice More Intimacy

There is more to sex than just making out. While intercourse is the main menu, it’s better to start with refreshments. Foreplay like cuddling, hugging, and kissing can be a good way to solve sex drive mismatch issues. Aside from this, helping your partner and complimenting them regularly helps foster a better sexual relationship.

Female doctor consulting a family

Visit a Medical Practitioner

When you have tried out several solutions, and there are no significant results, it might be a health issue. A visit to your doctor is recommended, as they will be in the best position to help out. You and your partner might need to undertake some tests to ascertain where the problem lies and which medications can help. If it’s a mental issue, the doctor could refer you to a psychologist.

Final Thoughts

Sex drive mismatch can be frustrating for couples; however, it can be worked on. Partners need to communicate more, try more intimacy, and indulge in alternative sexual practices. These and more can help promote healthy sexual relationships and improve sexual life.

Sex & Relashionships

Dating Apps: How Effective are They?

Published

4 days ago

4 April 2025

Zara Faustina

Dating apps are probably taking over the dating scene in recent times. We are in an age where technology has taken over most aspects of human living, the dating scene not excluded. The dating scene is undergoing a transformation which a few people are yet to get used to. Instead of Meeting people physically and by chance in schools, churches and social gatherings, romantic connections now grow from just a DM on social media.

Social media apps like tinder, bumble, hinge and so many dating apps have taken the lead to match single individuals to their potential significant other. However, there lies a question in the heart of many. And this question is how effective dating apps are in connecting people to their potential romantic partners? The measure of its effectiveness cuts across different dimensions such as social, psychological, relational and so on. Stay put while we discuss both the benefits and the limitations of dating apps.

What is the Success Rate of Dating Apps?

The major indicator of how effective dating apps are is how much its users get hooked into meaningful and thriving relationships.

A study conducted in 2019 found that relationships that were started online have more likelihood to last longer and result in marital satisfaction than those that started offline. In fact, it is said that online dating is the most common way in which couples meet, as opposed to meeting through friends, in church or social gatherings and at work.

That being said, the success of these apps vary depending on the user intent. Individuals seeking more casual relationships might find them more easily. However, those seeking for something more serious and deeper might face some challenges as they have to go through countless profiles, meet so many people with different ideologies and mixed intentions.

dating apps

Advantages of Dating Apps.

There are quite a number of benefits of using social media dating apps. Some of them include:

Wide Range of Options.

Dating apps broaden and offer a wider range of opportunities to meet potential partners. This diversity increases one’s chance of meeting their dream partner, one who shares their dreams and has similar interests.

Read Also: How to Deal with a Narcissistic Partner

More Control on Matches.

Users of these dating apps can filter what they want through keywords like age, religion, educational status and many others. This helps them to narrow down to what they want and make more targeted interactions.

Provides Opportunities for Shy or Socially Anxious Individuals.

A large number of people are shy and very anxious when they have to meet people that they are not used to, for the first time. These apps give them the opportunity to get used to these potential partners first before getting to meet them, hence, a higher chance for them to meet their own persons.

Disadvantages of Dating Apps.

Despite the number of advantages, there are quite a number of downsides to these dating apps. Some of them include:

Emotional Fatigue.

These apps have normalized ghosting; the act of suddenly withdrawing from people without any explanations. These acts can lead to emotional distress and self doubt, especially for those who seek genuine connections. The constant cycle of matching, talking then ghosting can lead to emotional burnout.

Safety Concerns.

While some of these dating apps put measures in place to improve the safety of their users, these apps make it easier for predators to get their preys, and this leads to an increase in cases of sexual harassment, assault, and scams. Most users, despite having talked to potential partners for a while, still have to be extra vigilant while meeting in-person for the first time.

Conclusion.

Dating apps are quite effective. However, while they can lead to meaningful and lasting relationships, they can also lead to emotional trauma. You are therefore advised to make use of them wisely, intentionally and with maturity.

Sex & Relashionships

6 Unspoken Rules Of First Dates

Published

4 days ago

4 April 2025

Fadire Olusola

First dates can be scary for most people as there are many expectations that they look forward to. What if their dates don’t meet their expectations and they are disappointed. This is a huge concern to many people when preparing for a date. Here are some Unspoken Rules people should have in mind when going on first dates.

The Venue should be in a Public Place

The world remains highly unsafe despite several precautions put in place by security agencies, that’s why your first date should be in a public location. It will be difficult for anyone to kidnap or hurt you in a public venue.The top recommendations are :

Restaurants
Beach
Libraries
Waterfronts
Parks

Inform At least One Person

It will be in your best interests to confide in one person about the date. This could be your friend, brother, uncle, parents, or neighbor. Some information you should tell the person should include :

Who the Date is
His/Her Phone Number
The Date location

After a first date, be sure to let someone close to you know that you’re safe and sound.First Dates can be tricky; you should let someone close to you know how to find you in case something goes wrong.

Wear Something Comfortable

While it’s important to always look good during a first date, it’s best to be comfortable with your desired outfit. A skirt or a nice gown can be a good choice. For men, a pair of jeans and round-neck jeans is an ideal choice. There are some good suggestions from Nordstrom that you should check out. The idea is to make a good first impression and be comfy.

Get There Early

When it comes to the first date, it’s important to arrive on time. Lateness should be avoided as this sends a bad signal and makes you seem an unreliable person. Make sure you get there 5-10 minutes before the agreed time. This shows you are someone who keeps to their word and comes out dependable. Getting to the date early also allows you to have a perfect view of the place and choose an ideal seat you are comfortable with.

Come with Your Money

There are two suggestions on who should pay for a first date. While some believe a man should pay for a date, others think whoever asks for the date should pay the bill. The easiest solution is to plan on covering your own expenses. if you are visiting restaurants and bars. If you want to avoid payment issues, you could choose to hang out at parks or the library.

Ask Questions To Show Interest

You should try to engage in meaningful conversations with your date and ask questions. This will portray you as someone who is smart and who is interested in something serious. There are an array of topics you could pick your interest like sports, personal and social lifestyle, education, celebrities, and future expectations.

Talk around intimacy and sex may or may not be discussed during first dates. This is because individuals’ upbringing and culture differ when it comes to sexually related subjects. Overall, go to a date to have fun, but ensure that your safety should be a priority.