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We Have Stopped Having Sex: (How this happened amongst couples)

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Sex is a vital aspect of any romantic relationship, serving as a powerful bonding agent that fosters emotional intimacy, trust, and connection. However, many couples face the challenge of a dwindling sex life, leading to feelings of detachment, resentment, and disconnection. Let’s delve into the consequences of a sexless marriage, explore the underlying reasons, and provide guidance on how to rekindle the spark and maintain open communication.

The Underlying Reasons for a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can be a complex and sensitive issue, often stemming from a combination of emotional, psychological, and lifestyle factors. While every situation is unique, some common underlying reasons for a sexless marriage include:

1. Communication Breakdown: Poor communication, lack of emotional intimacy, and unaddressed conflicts can lead to a decline in sexual desire and connection. Learn to communicate your feelings to your spouse. Don’t shut them out, it makes them feel appreciated and wanted.

2. Intimacy Issues: Past traumas, body image concerns, or intimacy issues can create a barrier to physical connection and emotional vulnerability.

3. Infidelity: Betrayal of trust through infidelity can lead to a loss of desire, emotional disconnection, and a sexless marriage. No one wants to share her spouse with another. Cheating has a way of wrecking an existing love or intimacy in a union.

4. Stress and Fatigue: High levels of stress, fatigue, and exhaustion can make sex seem like a chore, rather than a enjoyable experience.

5. Medical Concerns: Certain medical conditions, such as hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or erectile dysfunction, can impact sexual desire and performance.

6. Lifestyle Factors: Busy schedules, parenting responsibilities, and other lifestyle factors can leave little time or energy for sex. When children begin to come in a marriage the attention of the couple becomes divided. This means more work for the man and more attention towards the kids for the woman. It can be a lot and this tends to make a couple lose their sexual spark.

7. Unresolved Conflicts: Unaddressed conflicts, resentments, and unresolved issues can create tension and disconnection in the relationship.

8. Personal Issues: Personal struggles, such as depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, can impact sexual desire and overall well-being.

9. Pornography and Addiction: Pornography addiction or other forms of addiction can lead to a decline in sexual desire for one’s partner. People who suffer from this addiction tend to love solo sex(masturbation) compared to having intimacy with ones partner. This is a huge problem that can alter sexual desires amongst couples.

10. Trauma and Abuse: Past experiences of trauma or abuse can impact sexual desire, intimacy, and emotional connection.

11. Lack of Sexual Compatibility: Incompatible sexual desires, preferences, or expectations can lead to a decline in sexual activity. Most partners live adventure. Having one pattern of sex style every time can lead to a dwindling sex life amongst couples.

Understanding the underlying reasons for a sexless marriage is crucial to addressing the issue. By identifying the root causes and working together, couples can begin to rebuild their emotional and physical connection, fostering a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.

 

Consequences of a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can have far-reaching consequences, affecting both partners’ emotional and psychological well-being. Some of the potential consequences include:

1. Emotional Detachment: A lack of physical intimacy can lead to emotional disconnection, causing partners to feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated.

2. Resentment and Anger: Unaddressed sexual issues can create resentment, anger, and frustration, potentially damaging the Union.

3. Low Self-Esteem: A sexless marriage can negatively impact self-esteem, making individuals feel undesirable, unattractive, or inadequate.

4. Infidelity: In some cases, a lack of sexual fulfillment can lead to infidelity, as one or both partners seek intimacy outside the union.

5. Depression and Anxiety: The emotional toll of a sexless marriage can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.

 

Revitalizing Intimacy and Communication

Rekindling the spark in a sexless marriage requires effort, commitment, and open communication. Here are some tips to help couples revitalize their intimacy and communication:

1. Schedule Quality Time: Regularly schedule quality time together, engaging in activities that promote emotional connection and intimacy.

2. Practice Active Listening: Make an effort to truly listen to each other, addressing concerns, desires, and needs.

3. Foster Emotional Intimacy: Cultivate emotional intimacy through vulnerability, empathy, and understanding.

4. Address Underlying Issues: Identify and address underlying issues, such as medical concerns, intimacy issues, or communication breakdowns.

5. Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or sex therapist to guide you through the process.

6. Be adventurous: explore other sex styles to reignite the spark in your sex life.

Best Ways to Build Effective Communication as a Couple

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. When both partners communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully, they can navigate life’s challenges together, strengthen their bond, and build a more resilient relationship. Here are the best ways for married couples to communicate effectively:

1. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, feelings, and needs. Show that you care about their emotions and validate their experiences.

2. Use “I” Statements: Instead of blaming or accusing your partner with “you” statements, express your thoughts and feelings using “I” statements. This helps avoid defensiveness and promotes ownership of your emotions.

3. Be Vulnerable: Create a safe space for vulnerability, sharing your desires, fears, and concerns with your partner. This fosters trust, intimacy, and deeper connection.

4. Active Listening: Engage in active listening by focusing on your partner, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. Avoid interrupting, dismissing, or planning your response while your partner speaks.

5. Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time for regular check-ins, discussing concerns, desires, and needs. This helps prevent resentment, misunderstandings, and feelings of neglect.

6. Choose the Right Time and Place: Consider the timing and setting for important conversations. Avoid discussing sensitive topics during conflicts, when tired, or in public.

7. Avoid Assumptions: Don’t assume you know what your partner thinks, feels, or needs. Instead, ask open-ended questions, seek clarification, and confirm understanding.

8. Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express genuine appreciation and gratitude for your partner, acknowledging their efforts, support, and love.

9. Foster a Positive Communication Environment: Establish a positive communication environment by being approachable, respectful, and non-judgmental.

10. Seek Clarification and Confirmation: Ensure understanding by seeking clarification and confirmation on important matters, avoiding miscommunications and misunderstandings.

 

By incorporating these effective communication strategies into your daily interactions, you and your partner can build a stronger, more resilient marriage, navigate life’s challenges together, and deepen your emotional connection. Remember, effective communication is a skill that takes practice, patience, and dedication.

Also, a strong marriage requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow together. To have a great sex life as couples never lose your spark of attraction, active communication and love.

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Lifestyle

10 Love Languages Women Respond to

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About a year ago, my best friend’s husband sent an SOS to me. It came as a shock; for starters it was the first time he was sending that type of message, secondly, I was troubled when he made me promise not to tell his wife about our little phone chat. I arrived ten minutes early to the place he had picked with a mild headache as a result of overthinking.

When he arrived, I noticed he looked drained and had bags under his eyes and seemed to have lost a few pounds from the last time we saw. He sat down heavily in a chair, “your friend is driving me nuts,” he blurted out, “she’s changed, so unreasonable and difficult to satisfy and it’s killing me.” I felt instant pity for him, this was a man in-love with his wife and ready to do anything to make her happy. I heaved a sigh of relief asked him not to worry as I educated him on Gary Chapman’s “love language” he left with a new spark in his eye and safe to say things have been going just perfect for them.

Relationship can never be perfect because people are not perfect. Every man or woman faults as well as virtues. We are sad, selfish, ungrateful or rude. We all have our definition of love, your definition of love cannot be the same as your partner’s and this is where problem comes from. Your woman is not unreasonable or detached you just haven’t discovered what her love language is yet. According to Gary Chapman, the author of “The Five Love Language” here are ten most common love language that women use or respond to.


Quality Time: Being married or in a long term relationship doesn’t mean fun has to end. Plan uninterrupted time with her such as romantic dinners, trips and movie dates. Be intentional about her interests and values by doing this you make her feel cherished.

Physical Touch: Affection in form of touching is not primarily reserved for making love. This can be anything from holding hands to cuddling. Touch is powerful and speaks louder than words, especially for women who prioritize this love language.

Acts of Service: Doing something practical for her, like gisting with her while she cooks or running an errand, can make a woman feel loved and supported.

Listening: Not listening is the number one mistake most men make. Women like to talk, and value it when their partner truly listens to them and responds thoughtfully to what they’re saying.

Compliments: Every woman wants to feel special. Not just feeling sexually attractive to you, but they want to know they’re appreciated, use your words.

Recieving Gifts: For women who prioritize this love language, gifts don’t have to be expensive or extravagant; even small thoughtful gestures like a call in the middle of the day can make a big impact.

Quality Conversation: Women use conversation primarily to form connections with people, with that said, having meaningful discussion can help strengthen the emotional connection between partners.

Acceptance: No woman wants to walk on eggshells around her partner. Women who prioritize this love language want to be fully accepted and not rejected for who they are or what they want.

Unforgettable Memories: Looking back on shared experiences, such as anniversaries, special vacations, or other memorable moments, can be a powerful way to strengthen a relationship.

Emotional Support: Nothing beats having a compassionate partner that feels your pain as much as you do and support you. Women who prioritize this love language might feel unloved if you’re not supportive emotionally.

Remember, the key is to find out which love language your partner prefers.

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Lifestyle

How Regular Sex Benefits Married Couples

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Young couple having a good time.

Marriage is a great experience, but like every other relationship, it demands effort and attention. One key factor that is frequently forgotten is how regular sex may improve a marriage bond. You may believe that sex is simply a physical act, but it actually plays an important role in sustaining a strong and healthy bond between you and your spouse.

Let’s look at how regular sex can improve emotional intimacy, communication, overall health, and contribute to a happy and long-lasting marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been together for years, understanding the power of physical connection can help you maintain a strong relationship.

Physical Intimacy is Important in Marriage.

Intimate African couple

Marriage and all other relationships depend on connections to survive. The couple’s shared and formed bond is the foundation of this relationship. This connection and bond are built and strengthened through physical closeness.

There are various ways to show your spouse how much you care through physical touch. Touching, kissing, hugging, and having sex. Regular sex allows you to become more vulnerable with your partner, which allows couples to bond deeper with one another.

In addition to being a physical activity, sex is a time of emotional connection that is essential to a happy and healthy marriage. Couples can communicate without speaking out loud but still being understood through sex.

Benefits of Regular Sex on your Emotions.

You cannot be vulnerable to your spouse and still profess to trust them. Regular intimate partners are more likely to trust one another than infrequent intimate partners. Regular sex can make your partner feel cherished, cared for, and valued in addition to reinforcing your love for one another.

Oxytocin is released during sexual activity and contributes to bodily relaxation and happiness.

Benefits of regular sex on your mind.

Young couple having a good time.

In addition to being a private activity, having sex helps couples relax and decompress. Frequent sexual activity also enhances mental health. When sexual activity peaks, a hormone known as endorphins is released. The “feel good” hormone that encourages optimism is called endorphins.

You may work with your spouse to help your marriage last longer and grow a happier marriage when you are confident in yourself.

Regular sex partners don’t have communication issues. People who communicate well are better able to resolve conflicts in any kind of connection swiftly and amicably, leaving no space for resentment. In this manner, tension is decreased and your bond is strengthened.

The Health Benefits of regular sex.

Who would have guessed that spending quality time in close intimacy with your partner might be good for your health? And that’s it! Exercise is what sex is. Any physical activity you do for your health is an exercise.

Married couples’ health is maintained by intimacy through the release of igA during intercourse. Your body contains an immunoglobulin called IgA, which helps shield your system from outside substances. Frequent sex also strengthens your heart by raising your heart rate during an orgasm.

Imagine that when you are both in good health and physical shape, you will have more time to spend together, taking care of your children and yourself, as well as making and carrying out plans for a better future.

A Spark of passion and romance.

Romantic couple

 

Is there a more fitting way to close than this? Having sex is a passionate, romantic action that can help you become really close to your partner. This closeness reignites your desire and fire for your partner.

Regular sex can enrich your relationship by enabling you to connect on a much deeper level as a pair. It’s crucial that you make time, despite your busy schedule, to have regular intimate moments with your spouse.

Conclusion

More than ever, there is a debate in the media about regular sex. Decide as a pair to learn about and respect one another’s preferences on how regularly it will be. To other couples, regular sex could mean getting intimate with your spouse four times a week, while to another couple, it could mean getting intimate weekly, biweekly. The more reason why you both should understand yourselves.

Marriage is a beautiful journey and you deserve to have a happy one. It is advised you regularly get intimate with your partner and enjoy the burning passion that comes with intimacy. This in itself can help enhance your emotional, mental, psychological, and physical well being.

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Lifestyle

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship

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Talking about “the importance of sex in relationship” would have gotten us a side-eye just a few decades ago as its considered a taboo. But, in recent times people have become unapologetically sexually liberated and we are here for it. Before we delve into its significant role in a relationship, it’s important to note that sex is not the oxygen that keeps a relationship alive, it does not make things better. The truth is, it might improve relationship but sometimes make things difficult. For some people its the most important thing, but for others it can be overlooked if the relationship is on a good track. That being said let’s dive into the importance of sex in a relationship, shall we?

Intimacy and Connection: It’s undeniable that the emotional side of love is intimacy, everybody wants someone who knows and understands them better than anyone else. And most times sex gives this type of feeling. Having sex can help you and your partner express love and affection in a way that deepens your bonds and strengthen emotional ties. It allows you connect on a different level with your partner, it can lift mood and ease tension. Without sexual intimacy especially in marriage couples will be distant and lonely even while living under the same roof.

Improves Relationship Health and Communication: Having regular sex keeps partners committed emotionally and improves communication. Communication makes or breaks a relationship, and sex teaches you how to communicate with your partner in an unimaginable way through physical touch which speaks louder than words sometimes. Additionally, talking about how you feel during or after sex with your partner can help you both understand each other, boost confidence, self esteem, self worth and improves relationship.

Vulnerability: Trust, and strong emotional connection are unquestionable traits built through sexual intimacy.

Ease and Relief Stress: Sex reliefs stress and tension in relationships. That is why most times make-up sex are the best in reconnecting and resolving conflicts.

Relationship Satisfaction: Overall pleasure and contentment in relationship can be influenced by sex. Having a good sexual intimacy makes you and your partner feel more happy and fulfilled.

 

Ultimately, the most important thing here is for couples to prioritize their connection and relationship, find a way to maintain intimacy, whether its through sex or other form of intimacy.

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