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Sex & Relashionships

We Have Stopped Having Sex: (How this happened amongst couples)

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Sex is a vital aspect of any romantic relationship, serving as a powerful bonding agent that fosters emotional intimacy, trust, and connection. However, many couples face the challenge of a dwindling sex life, leading to feelings of detachment, resentment, and disconnection. Let’s delve into the consequences of a sexless marriage, explore the underlying reasons, and provide guidance on how to rekindle the spark and maintain open communication.

The Underlying Reasons for a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can be a complex and sensitive issue, often stemming from a combination of emotional, psychological, and lifestyle factors. While every situation is unique, some common underlying reasons for a sexless marriage include:

1. Communication Breakdown: Poor communication, lack of emotional intimacy, and unaddressed conflicts can lead to a decline in sexual desire and connection. Learn to communicate your feelings to your spouse. Don’t shut them out, it makes them feel appreciated and wanted.

2. Intimacy Issues: Past traumas, body image concerns, or intimacy issues can create a barrier to physical connection and emotional vulnerability.

3. Infidelity: Betrayal of trust through infidelity can lead to a loss of desire, emotional disconnection, and a sexless marriage. No one wants to share her spouse with another. Cheating has a way of wrecking an existing love or intimacy in a union.

4. Stress and Fatigue: High levels of stress, fatigue, and exhaustion can make sex seem like a chore, rather than a enjoyable experience.

5. Medical Concerns: Certain medical conditions, such as hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or erectile dysfunction, can impact sexual desire and performance.

6. Lifestyle Factors: Busy schedules, parenting responsibilities, and other lifestyle factors can leave little time or energy for sex. When children begin to come in a marriage the attention of the couple becomes divided. This means more work for the man and more attention towards the kids for the woman. It can be a lot and this tends to make a couple lose their sexual spark.

7. Unresolved Conflicts: Unaddressed conflicts, resentments, and unresolved issues can create tension and disconnection in the relationship.

8. Personal Issues: Personal struggles, such as depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, can impact sexual desire and overall well-being.

9. Pornography and Addiction: Pornography addiction or other forms of addiction can lead to a decline in sexual desire for one’s partner. People who suffer from this addiction tend to love solo sex(masturbation) compared to having intimacy with ones partner. This is a huge problem that can alter sexual desires amongst couples.

10. Trauma and Abuse: Past experiences of trauma or abuse can impact sexual desire, intimacy, and emotional connection.

11. Lack of Sexual Compatibility: Incompatible sexual desires, preferences, or expectations can lead to a decline in sexual activity. Most partners live adventure. Having one pattern of sex style every time can lead to a dwindling sex life amongst couples.

Understanding the underlying reasons for a sexless marriage is crucial to addressing the issue. By identifying the root causes and working together, couples can begin to rebuild their emotional and physical connection, fostering a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.

 

Consequences of a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can have far-reaching consequences, affecting both partners’ emotional and psychological well-being. Some of the potential consequences include:

1. Emotional Detachment: A lack of physical intimacy can lead to emotional disconnection, causing partners to feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated.

2. Resentment and Anger: Unaddressed sexual issues can create resentment, anger, and frustration, potentially damaging the Union.

3. Low Self-Esteem: A sexless marriage can negatively impact self-esteem, making individuals feel undesirable, unattractive, or inadequate.

4. Infidelity: In some cases, a lack of sexual fulfillment can lead to infidelity, as one or both partners seek intimacy outside the union.

5. Depression and Anxiety: The emotional toll of a sexless marriage can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.

 

Revitalizing Intimacy and Communication

Rekindling the spark in a sexless marriage requires effort, commitment, and open communication. Here are some tips to help couples revitalize their intimacy and communication:

1. Schedule Quality Time: Regularly schedule quality time together, engaging in activities that promote emotional connection and intimacy.

2. Practice Active Listening: Make an effort to truly listen to each other, addressing concerns, desires, and needs.

3. Foster Emotional Intimacy: Cultivate emotional intimacy through vulnerability, empathy, and understanding.

4. Address Underlying Issues: Identify and address underlying issues, such as medical concerns, intimacy issues, or communication breakdowns.

5. Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or sex therapist to guide you through the process.

6. Be adventurous: explore other sex styles to reignite the spark in your sex life.

Best Ways to Build Effective Communication as a Couple

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. When both partners communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully, they can navigate life’s challenges together, strengthen their bond, and build a more resilient relationship. Here are the best ways for married couples to communicate effectively:

1. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, feelings, and needs. Show that you care about their emotions and validate their experiences.

2. Use “I” Statements: Instead of blaming or accusing your partner with “you” statements, express your thoughts and feelings using “I” statements. This helps avoid defensiveness and promotes ownership of your emotions.

3. Be Vulnerable: Create a safe space for vulnerability, sharing your desires, fears, and concerns with your partner. This fosters trust, intimacy, and deeper connection.

4. Active Listening: Engage in active listening by focusing on your partner, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. Avoid interrupting, dismissing, or planning your response while your partner speaks.

5. Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time for regular check-ins, discussing concerns, desires, and needs. This helps prevent resentment, misunderstandings, and feelings of neglect.

6. Choose the Right Time and Place: Consider the timing and setting for important conversations. Avoid discussing sensitive topics during conflicts, when tired, or in public.

7. Avoid Assumptions: Don’t assume you know what your partner thinks, feels, or needs. Instead, ask open-ended questions, seek clarification, and confirm understanding.

8. Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express genuine appreciation and gratitude for your partner, acknowledging their efforts, support, and love.

9. Foster a Positive Communication Environment: Establish a positive communication environment by being approachable, respectful, and non-judgmental.

10. Seek Clarification and Confirmation: Ensure understanding by seeking clarification and confirmation on important matters, avoiding miscommunications and misunderstandings.

 

By incorporating these effective communication strategies into your daily interactions, you and your partner can build a stronger, more resilient marriage, navigate life’s challenges together, and deepen your emotional connection. Remember, effective communication is a skill that takes practice, patience, and dedication.

Also, a strong marriage requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow together. To have a great sex life as couples never lose your spark of attraction, active communication and love.

At xclusivstars we bring you educational and entertaining content. Binge here for more content on sex and relationship.

 

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Sex & Relashionships

Can Your Partner’s Scent Actually Reduce Anxiety?

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Ever noticed how just catching a whiff of your partner can make a stressful day feel a little lighter? That comforting smell isn’t just in your head; science suggests it can have real calming effects.

Research indicates that familiar scents, like your partner’s perfume, cologne, or natural body odor, may trigger the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and relaxation. Simply hugging your partner, snuggling, or keeping a worn T-shirt nearby can help you feel calmer after a tense day.

Our brains are wired to connect smells with memories and emotions. The olfactory system interacts closely with areas of the brain that regulate fear and anxiety, such as the amygdala. That’s why a partner’s scent can give an almost instant sense of comfort and safety.

For couples in long-distance relationships, these effects can be especially valuable. Swapping clothing items or using shared-scented products can create a sense of closeness even when physical hugs aren’t possible. In daily life, this subtle connection can strengthen emotional bonds while easing stress.

Of course, the effect isn’t the same for everyone. Personal preferences, past experiences, and even genetics can influence how soothing a partner’s scent feels. But for many people, a familiar fragrance is a simple, quietly powerful way to feel more relaxed and connected.

 

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Sex & Relashionships

What is Shreking? The Trend Changing Modern Relationships

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Dating in Nigeria today comes with twists and turns we never saw coming. From swiping on apps to endless chats on WhatsApp, it feels like the rules keep changing. And now, there’s a new term in town: Shreking. No, it has nothing to do with ogres or fairy tales. This is a modern dating habit that’s quietly taking over.

What Shreking Really Means

Shreking is when someone dates a person they’re not genuinely attracted to, often because they hope the other person will treat them like a queen or king. It’s not about love or chemistry; it’s about comfort, attention, or perks.

Imagine dating someone who buys you gifts, always wants to spend time with you, or goes out of their way to make you feel special, but deep down, you don’t feel that spark. That is Shreking in action.

Why People Shrek

People Shrek for different reasons. Some are tired of being rejected and settle for someone who will appreciate them. Others are drawn to the security or admiration a partner offers rather than genuine feelings.

With dating apps making it easy to meet people but hard to build real connections, Shreking becomes a shortcut. It is a way to enjoy the perks of being in a relationship without the messy work of emotional investment.

The Risks Involved

Shreking might feel harmless at first, but it comes with consequences. The person being Shreked often ends up confused and hurt, thinking there’s a deeper connection. Meanwhile, the person doing the Shreking risks missing out on real intimacy because the relationship is based on convenience rather than attraction.

It also creates awkward situations. When honesty is missing, expectations clash, and both sides can end up frustrated.

Is This a New Thing?

Not really. People have always dated for reasons other than love: status, comfort, or stability. What is different now is that social media and dating apps make it more visible and easier to discuss. Shreking simply has a catchy new name.

How to Navigate It

If you’re dating in today’s world, it helps to pay attention to your motives and theirs. Ask yourself: Are you with someone because of genuine attraction, or because they make your life easier? Notice if someone is truly interested in you, or just what you bring to the table.

Relationships work best when both people feel a real connection and make an effort for each other. Shreking may provide temporary comfort, but it rarely leads to something lasting.

Bottom Line

Shreking is more than slang. It reflects how modern dating is evolving and makes us question the choices we make about love and connection. Next time someone asks if you’re Shreking, pause and reflect. Your answer may reveal more about your heart than you expect.

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Sex & Relashionships

Signs You Have Abandonment Issue and How to Heal

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Emotional pain doesn’t always show on the surface. For many, the hardest blow is being left behind, whether by a parent, a partner, or someone they trusted. That kind of loss can linger quietly into adulthood. You might cling too tightly in relationships, fear rejection before it even happens, or struggle to believe people will stay. These patterns often point to what psychologists call abandonment issues.

Recognising them is the first step to healing. Here are common signs and ways to start moving forward.

Trust Feels Difficult

If every new relationship feels like a test, abandonment fears may be at play. Expecting people to leave makes it hard to feel secure and even harder to maintain healthy connections.

Pulling Away Before You Get Hurt

Some protect themselves by leaving before they can be left. It feels safer to pull back, but this defence often creates the very loneliness it tries to prevent.

Needing Constant Reassurance

Everyone wants comfort sometimes, but constantly seeking proof of love or loyalty can become draining. That need can slowly wear down friendships and romantic partnerships.

Trouble Setting Boundaries

Fears of being abandoned can push people into over-giving, tolerating too much, or staying in unhealthy situations just to avoid being alone. Over time, this erodes self-worth.

Overreacting to Distance

When someone misses a call, travels, or becomes busy, it can feel like rejection. Small absences may trigger intense reactions, even when no harm was intended.

Steps Toward Healing

Admitting the wound is not weakness; it is proof you are ready to grow. Healing is less about erasing the past and more about learning to live without fear controlling your relationships.

Learn to Self-Soothe

Rather than relying on others to calm your anxiety, practise grounding techniques: deep breathing, journaling, prayer, or meditation. These habits build resilience.

Talk About It

Keeping it to yourself often strengthens the fear. Therapy, counselling, or honest conversations with a trusted friend can help you trace the roots of your feelings.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Balanced relationships require mutual respect. Learning to say no, honour your needs, and avoid overextending yourself helps you feel secure without clinging.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

When your mind whispers “they’ll leave,” pause and ask: Is this fear or fact? Reframing your thoughts gradually weakens the cycle of anxiety.

Be Patient With Yourself

Healing is not linear. Some days will feel easier than others, but every step counts. Awareness alone is already progress.

Abandonment issues do not have to define your life. By recognising the signs and taking steady steps to heal, you can build relationships rooted in trust rather than fear. Most importantly, you can begin to see yourself as enough, regardless of who stays or goes.

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