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Sex Toys: Are They Really That Important to Couples?

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As you navigate the world of intimacy with your partner, you may have wondered about the role of sex toys in your marriage. Are they really that important? Can they bring you and your partner closer together, or are they just a novelty? Let’s dive in and explore the world of sex toys and their significance for couples.

What are Sex Toys, and Why Do Couples Use Them?

Sex toys for couples

Sex toys for couples

Sex toys are objects designed to enhance sexual pleasure and intimacy. They come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, catering to different desires and preferences. Couples use sex toys for several reasons:

To spice up their sex life: Sex toys can help you and your partner explore new sensations, positions, and fantasies, keeping your intimacy fresh and exciting.

To address sexual health issues: Certain sex toys, like vibrators, can help individuals with sexual dysfunction, such as vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction.

To enhance communication and intimacy: Using sex toys together can encourage open communication about your desires, boundaries, and pleasure.

Reduced stress and anxiety: Exploring sex toys together can be a fun and playful way to relax and reduce stress.

Bridge partner’s absence: For some couples who have a partner that usually goes on outside gigs, they most times agree to use sex toys when they experience intense libido to avoid them from taking decisions that could end their marriage -Infidelity.

Choosing the Right Sex Toy for You and Your Partner

Happy Couples

Happy Couples

With so many options available, selecting the right sex toy can be overwhelming. Here are some tips to help you choose:

Communicate with your partner: Talk openly about your desires, boundaries, and preferences to ensure you both are comfortable with the chosen toy.

Consider your needs and goals: Think about what you want to achieve with the sex toy. Are you looking to spice up your sex life, address a sexual health issue, or enhance intimacy?

Research and read reviews: Look into different types of sex toys, read reviews, and ask for recommendations from trusted sources and sex doctors.

Common Misconceptions About Sex Toys

Sex toys

Sex toy

There are several misconceptions surrounding sex toys that may make you hesitant to explore them:

Sex toys are only for solo play: While sex toys can be used solo, they can also be a fun and exciting way to enhance intimacy with your partner.

Sex toys are dirty or unhygienic: As long as you properly clean and maintain your sex toys, they can be a safe and healthy addition to your sex life.

Sex toys will replace human intimacy: Sex toys are meant to enhance your relationship, not replace it. They can help you and your partner connect on a deeper level and explore new sources of pleasure.

In conclusion, sex toys can be a valuable addition to your relationship, enhancing intimacy, communication, and pleasure. By understanding the benefits, choosing the right toy, and incorporating it into your relationship, you and your partner can explore new sources of joy and connection. Remember, sex toys are meant to enhance your relationship, not replace it.

Read also: 6 ways to spice up your relationship 

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Sex & Relashionships

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Partner

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Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally exhausting. Their need for constant validation, lack of empathy, and manipulative tendencies can leave you feeling drained, confused, and unappreciated.

But while dealing with a narcissist is challenging, it’s not impossible. The key is to protect your mental and emotional well-being while setting firm boundaries.

If you’re navigating a relationship with a narcissistic partner, here’s how to handle the situation effectively.

1. Recognize the Signs

Before you can deal with a narcissistic partner, you need to identify their traits. Narcissists often exhibit:

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance
  • A need for excessive admiration
  • Lack of empathy for your feelings
  • Manipulative behavior (gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or blame-shifting)
  • Sense of entitlement in the relationship

If your partner constantly dismisses your feelings, makes everything about themselves, or manipulates situations to their advantage, they may have narcissistic tendencies.

2. Set Firm Boundaries

Narcissists push limits, so clear and firm boundaries are crucial. If your partner constantly criticizes you, belittles your achievements,

or violates your personal space, let them know it’s unacceptable. Communicate your limits and enforce them consistently.

For example:

“I will not engage in conversations where I am being disrespected.”

“I need space when I feel overwhelmed, and I expect that to be respected.”

3. Stop Feeding Their Ego

Narcissists thrive on attention, whether positive or negative.

The more you react emotionally to their manipulative behavior, the more power they have over you. Detach emotionally where necessary and avoid giving them the reaction they crave.

If they try to provoke you, remain calm and composed. Over time, this reduces their control over your emotions.

4. Don’t Fall for Manipulation

Gaslighting is a common tool narcissists use to make you question your reality. They might say things like:

“You’re overreacting, that never happened.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You always make everything about you.”

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Keep a journal of incidents if needed to remind yourself of the truth.

5. Focus on Self-Care

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be mentally and emotionally draining. Prioritize your well-being by:

Practicing self-care (exercise, meditation, or hobbies that make you happy)

Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family

Seeking therapy or counseling to help navigate the relationship

Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

6. Consider Professional Help

If your relationship is affecting your mental health, seeking therapy can be helpful. A professional therapist can help you set boundaries, rebuild self-esteem, and decide whether the relationship is worth saving.

If your partner is willing, couples therapy may also help, though narcissists are often resistant to acknowledging their flaws.

7. Know When to Walk Away

Not all relationships can be saved. If your partner refuses to change and their behavior is causing you consistent emotional harm, leaving may be the best option. Your peace and happiness matter.

If you’re considering leaving a narcissistic partner, plan your exit carefully. Narcissists do not take rejection well and may try to manipulate you into staying. Have a support system in place before making your move.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a narcissistic partner requires strength, self-awareness, and boundaries. You cannot change them, but you can control how you respond to their behavior.

Whether you choose to stay and set boundaries or leave for your peace of mind, always prioritize your emotional well-being.

Remember: You deserve love, respect, and a healthy relationship. Don’t settle for less.

Read next post: Dj cuppy biggest moments 

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Lifestyle

Connection Between Sex and Mental Health

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There is a deep connection between sex and mental health and why it’s not just about the orgasm sex isn’t just a physical act.

It’s tangled up with our emotions, our self-worth, and even our mental well-being. Whether you’re having it regularly, not at all, or somewhere in between, sex (or the lack of it) plays a bigger role in your mental health than you might think.  

 

1. Sex as a Mood Booster (Thanks to  Science!)

  

Ever noticed how a good romp in the sheets can make stress melt away? That’s not just in your head, literally. Sex releases a cocktail of feel-good chemicals:  

 

– Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) promotes bonding and reduces anxiety. 

 

– Endorphins act like natural painkillers and stress relievers. 

 

– Dopamine gives you that euphoric, “I’m on top of the world” feeling.  

 

It’s like nature’s antidepressant, no prescription needed. But here’s the catch: it only works when the sex is good and consensual. Bad or forced sex? That can do the exact opposite.  

Some feeling good about Sex

2. When Sex is Missing: The Frustration Factor  

 

Dry spells happen, life gets busy, relationships hit rough patches, or maybe you’re just not feeling it. But when sex disappears for too long, it can mess with your head:  

 

– Self-esteem takes a hit (“Am I unattractive?”)  

 

– Anxiety creeps in (“Is something wrong with me?”)  

 

– Resentment builds (especially in relationships where one person wants it more)  

 

It’s not just about “getting some.” It’s about feeling desired, connected, and alive.  

Someone Missing Sex

3. Bad Sex vs. Good Sex: The Mental Health Divide

 

Not all sex is created equal. Great sex can make you feel invincible. Bad sex (or worse, obligation sex) can leave you feeling empty, used, or even ashamed.  

 

– Good sex = mutual pleasure, communication, presence.  

– Bad sex = performance pressure, disconnection, regret.  

 

If sex leaves you feeling worse afterward, it’s worth asking why. Are you doing it for yourself, or for someone else’s approval?  

Someone thinking about a bad sex moment

 

4. The Dark Side: When Sex Hurts Instead of Heals 

 

For some, sex isn’t a happy topic. Trauma, dysfunction, or past abuse can turn intimacy into a minefield. If sex triggers anxiety, shame, or panic, therapy (especially with a sex-positive counselor) can help rebuild a healthier relationship with it.  

 

5. What If You’re Just Not Into It?

 

And that’s completely okay. Asexuality, low libido (thanks to stress!), or just personal preference, you don’t need sex to be mentally healthy. What matters is honesty with yourself and your partner(s).  

Someone not needing Sex

Read Also: Sex and Relationships: Effective Ways to Deliver Criticism to Your Partner Without Causing Conflict

 

Sex is Mental, Not Just Physical, your brain is your biggest sex organ. If your mental health is struggling, your sex life will reflect that. And if your sex life is off, your mood will too. The key? Don’t ignore it. 

Talk about it, explore it, and above all make sure it’s serving you, not hurting you.  

 

So… how’s your relationship with sex these days? (No judgment here.)  

 

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Bad Sex? Here’s How to Avoid it and Improve Your Intimacy.

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No More Bad Sex – Simple Ways to Make Intimacy Better

Sex and sexual intimacy is a very sensitive and crucial part of a relationship and honestly, for some relationships, what would make or break it is the quality of sexual intimacy.

Bad sex therefore can leave one or both partners feeling dissatisfied, disconnected and frustrated and if not checked on time, in some cases can lead to the end of a relationship.

Whatever it is you struggle with sexually especially with your partner doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship and so this article would point out tips that would improve your sexual intimacy so you have a happier relationship.

1. Openly and Honestly Communicate

Healthy communication strengthens bonds

Healthy communication strengthens bonds

Communication is important for the growth of a relationship and that doesn’t exclude communication about sexual activity. One mistake a lot of people make is keeping quiet about something you don’t like that is going on.

If you don’t feel satisfied, speak up. You want to explore more, speak up. You don’t like a thing or two your partner does, speak up.

You are not a mind reader and your partner isn’t one either, the only way they know what they should improve on is when you communicate about it.

Don’t be scared to communicate your feelings or make the mistake of thinking you can endure it. Open up to your partner so you both can find a lasting solution to the issue or concern.

2. Prioritize Foreplay and Emotional Connection

Prioritize foreplay and emotional connection

Prioritize foreplay and emotional connection

Another mistake a lot of partners especially the males make is skipping foreplay entirely and rushing to sex. A study in 2022 by LELO found that 70% of women reported not getting enough foreplay before sex.

This could lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment as foreplay is not just about physical touch but also about connection and sexual intimacy with your partner.

To improve foreplay, try non-sexual intimacy including deep conversations, eye contact and laughter, explore different types of touch, either massage or light teasing, etc. This builds anticipation before sexual intimacy.

3. Stay Confident

Stay confident

Stay confident

Stay confident especially during sexual intimacy is important. A lack of confidence in your body or performance would lead to feelings of self consciousness and stress that reduces the quality of sex. The more confident you feel, the better the experience for you and your partner.

To boost sexual confidence, wear something you’re comfortable and confident in, especially for ladies. Make sure to focus on what you love about yourself and not your imperfections.

Most importantly, understand that sex is not about being perfect, it’s about connecting with your partner and the both of you fulfilling your sexual desires and expectations.

4. Keep Things Adventurous and Exciting.

Keep things exciting and adventurous

Keep things exciting and adventurous

You begin to have a problem when sex feels like a burdensome chore and not something to look forward to doing with your partner. This is why you should not make sex a routine, it kills passion.

Here are things to try:

1. Explore a new location different from where you and your partner are used to or switch up the regular position.

2. Explore foreplay, fantasies and whatever else you both are comfortable with. Don’t be put in a box!

You can plan a surprise, intimate date that leads to sexual intimacy. Surprises spice up things too!

5. Educate Yourself and Explore Together

Stay informed and knowledgeable about intimacy and sexual activity

Stay informed and knowledgeable about intimacy and sexual activity

A lot of people have so many misconceptions about sex, relationships and intimacy and that is why being knowledgeable about some things would naturally improve the quality of your relationship sexually and otherwise.

Learn and grow together by reading books, watching videos, attending workshops that teach about intimacy. You can also discuss boundaries and desires openly and focus more on connection.

By noting and acting on these steps, you can improve the quality of your sexual activity and intimacy with your partner. The key focus is being open about your desire and striving to connect with your partner. With understanding, time and effort, you can build a happier, more intimate relationship both in and outside the bedroom.

READ NEXT: BUILDING PASSION: TIPS FOR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS 

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