Not long ago, self-care was something people associated with indulgence. A face mask here, a long bath there, maybe a glass of wine and a playlist that made you feel like the main character. It was something you did on Sundays to reset before the chaos began again. But something’s shifted. These days, taking care of yourself doesn’t always look relaxing—or even enjoyable. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, it’s awkward. But it’s also more honest than ever.

For many people, self-care now means paying closer attention to what drains you—and choosing to step back, even if it’s uncomfortable. That could mean declining a group hangout because your energy’s shot. Or staying off your phone past 8 p.m. because you’re tired of bad news and dopamine loops. It’s noticing that you’re snapping more than usual, and asking why, instead of brushing it off as stress.

It’s also in the quiet routines that don’t make it to social media. Taking your meds every morning. Cooking enough food for the week because you know your future self will thank you. Booking a therapy session after putting it off for months. Tidying up—not to impress anyone—but because clutter makes it harder to think.

And there’s more nuance to it now. Resting doesn’t always mean lying on the couch all day. For some, it’s waking up early to walk before the streets get noisy. For others, it’s dropping a workout that used to feel good but now feels punishing. It’s adjusting—not quitting—when your body or brain tells you something’s off.

People are also learning that being constantly available isn’t sustainable. Ignoring texts for a while isn’t rude—it’s a boundary. Logging off isn’t lazy—it’s necessary. We’re not designed to be “on” all the time, and more people are beginning to live like that’s actually true.

Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all anymore, and maybe it never was. For a new mother, it might be asking for help without feeling guilty. For a college student, it might be dropping a class they can’t mentally keep up with. For someone grieving, it might be just getting through the day with basic hygiene and food. It’s different, and that’s okay.

The idea that self-care has to be pretty or peaceful is fading. Sometimes it looks like letting go of people you’ve outgrown. Sometimes it’s admitting you’re not okay. These aren’t feel-good moments—but they are real, and they’re part of what care actually looks like.

So no, it’s not all candles and bathrobes anymore. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because self-care shouldn’t be something we earn after burnout. It should be something we build into our lives, day by day, even if it’s messy.

Abuja has often been called many things—neat, quiet, sometimes too predictable. But under the surface, the city is evolving. New spaces are opening that feel less like places to be seen and more like places to feel at home. They don’t need buzzwords or gimmicks—just good food, relaxed settings, and room to breathe. Whether you’re looking for a new spot to catch up with friends or simply want a change of scene, here are five places that are getting it right.

Thyme by Flour – Clean, Calm, and Curated

Nestled on a quiet corner in Wuse, Thyme by Flour strikes a balance between simplicity and detail. With soft lighting, wood accents, and an uncluttered layout, the space invites you to slow down. The menu leans toward continental dishes, all carefully prepared without any fuss. It’s a good spot for a solo lunch, a thoughtful date, or just a quiet evening out. The staff is attentive, and the pace of the place makes you want to linger just a little longer.

Nola Abuja – A Rooftop with Room to Breathe

Up on the top floor of Natsu Mall, Nola feels like a small escape from the bustle below. The open rooftop setting lets in the breeze, and the soft music inside creates a calm atmosphere for meals or evening drinks. The food is straightforward—nothing overdone—just well-made, satisfying dishes. If you arrive early, the view at sunset is worth catching. And whether you’re with friends or keeping it quiet, you’ll find it easy to settle in.

The Gallery Clubhouse – A Tucked-Away Spot in Riverpark

Inside Riverpark Estate, off Gallery Road, The Gallery Clubhouse offers something Abuja doesn’t have enough of: space to be yourself. With indoor and outdoor seating, generous spacing between tables, and a design that’s easy on the eyes, it works just as well for quiet catch-ups as it does for solo time with your laptop or a book. Some evenings, there’s live music or art events—but the vibe stays grounded, never too loud or too still.

Barcardi Restaurant – Honest Food in a Warm Setting

Barcardi sits on a quiet Wuse 2 street, drawing in a loyal crowd looking for good food without the frills. The menu covers familiar ground—grilled meats, spicy rice dishes, and hearty portions—and it’s all delivered without delay. The lighting is soft, the music leans familiar, and the staff makes you feel welcome without being overbearing. Whether it’s a midweek dinner or an unplanned night out, it’s the kind of place you can count on.

Eko in Abuja – A Lagos Spirit with a Capital Twist

Just beside Ceddi Plaza in the city centre, Eko in Abuja brings that unmistakable Lagos energy to town. The menu doesn’t hold back—peppered meats, spicy soups, flavour-packed rice dishes—all served the way they should be: hot and full of taste. The room is always in motion, and the mix of sounds, smells, and chatter gives the space a lively heartbeat. It’s an ideal stop if you’re craving familiar flavours with the city just outside your window.

In Closing

Abuja’s newer spots don’t rely on hype. They simply deliver what many people are quietly looking for—good meals, unforced conversations, and a reason to pause for a while. Each of these places offers something a little different, but they all share the same quiet promise: you’ll feel welcome, and you’ll want to come back.

Most of us stay in relationships longer than we should, not because of love, but because of fear, loneliness and what others will say. Moving on can be difficult but what’s worse is losing yourself in the process of trying to save a relationship that’s broken. Here are some clear signs that it’s time to move on:

No connection
When there’s no connection between you and your partner, conversations feel heavy, spending time with them feels like a chore or burden and the emotional attraction you once had has faded, it’s a red flag. Connections are not meant to be forced, it’s meant to flow naturally. So if you find yourself in this situation, it’s a sign.

No more intimacy

If the idea of being close emotionally or physically—repels you instead of pulling you closer like it used to be, that’s a big signal. Not that everything is about intimacy but it’s one of the important aspects that leads to a healthy bond. When that’s gone, the relationship starts to fizzle out or go south.

You’re always upset
All relationships have disagreements, but if the happy moments are lesser than the arguments, or for instance, you’re always irritated by little things your partner does and fixing the issues doesn’t change anything —it’s time to rethink things.

One sided
When you start noticing that you’re the only one putting in effort and your action isn’t being reciprocated by your partner or worse, your partner is just nonchalant and doesn’t care. That’s a sign to step back

Trust is broken
Trust is one of the important components of a successful relationship. Once there’s a seed of doubt because of betrayal, deceit, or constant disappointment, your partner has no value or respect for you or the bond you once shared. Without trust, the foundation is broken.

You Want Different Things in Life

Love isn’t the only thing that can sustain a relationship, love alone isn’t enough. You may care about each other deeply, but if one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, or one dreams of moving abroad while the other wants to stay close to family, it can get overwhelming. When your goals for the future doesn’t align, it feels like you’re walking two different paths. And if neither of you is willing to compromise, it’s time to say goodbye.

What to Do Once You Know It’s Time
So you’ve seen the signs, and your heart secretly knows the truth, even though you’ve been denying it. Here’s how to start taking steps that will help you heal:

Acknowledge Your Reality
Stop sugarcoating things. If you’ve been giving your partner the benefit of doubt or telling yourself “it’s just a phase,” it might be time to face what’s really going on. Accepting the truth is the first step.

Surround yourself with loved ones
Let go of what shouldn’t have been and focus on what matters. Be around people that genuinely cares about you like family, spend more time with actual friends and do things that make you happy.

Leave With Purpose
Walking away doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re choosing peace over anything. Step into what will help you grow, not just your comfort zone.

Prioritize Your Healing
Don’t be in a hurry to move on. It’s okay to grieve, reflect, and reset. Healing isn’t a bad thing, it gives room for progress.

Final Thoughts
Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing for both of you. A union is supposed to bring joy, not just struggle. No relationship is perfect, but when you start to feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally, that’s a huge red flag. It’s okay to step back and rethink things.

Have you ever had to leave a relationship that wasn’t right? What helped you finally make the move? Share your story below.