Sex & Relashionships

The Art of Flirting: A Modern Guide

Published

3 weeks ago

12 April 2025

In today’s world, where connections happen instantly via social media and dating apps, flirting has evolved.

Gone are the days when flirting was limited to the innocent winks and playful remarks of yesteryears. In the fast-paced digital age, flirting has become an art,

an essential skill for expressing attraction, building rapport, and even starting meaningful relationships.

But while flirting may seem like a game to some, it’s really a form of communication a way of showing interest, building connection, and creating chemistry without being overt or too forward.

And if you’ve ever felt unsure about how to flirt in a way that feels natural and respectful, you’re not alone.

In this article, we’ll explore the art of flirting in the modern world, offering simple, practical tips that anyone can use to navigate the complex landscape of relationships, while staying authentic, confident, and respectful. Whether you’re in a busy Nigerian city, swiping on a dating app, or just trying to be more engaging at social events, these flirting strategies will help you connect more deeply and meaningfully.

1. Confidence is Key

The foundation of good flirting is confidence. It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not, but rather embracing and showcasing the person you truly are. Confidence is magnetic, and it signals that you’re comfortable in your own skin.

But let’s get one thing clear, confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. In fact, humility is incredibly attractive.

In the Nigerian context, we value authenticity over pretense. Flirting is about showcasing the best parts of yourself without coming across as trying too hard.

How to Flirt with Confidence:

Stand tall and make eye contact. When you speak, make sure your voice is steady and clear.

Smile genuinely, warm smile can break the ice faster than any pickup line.
Listen actively, showing genuine interest in what someone says is just as attractive as looking good.

2. Understand the Power of Body Language

In the Nigerian culture, a lot of communication happens non-verbally. This is especially true when it comes to flirting.

Your body language can say so much more than words ever will. Whether you’re sitting in a Lagos café or attending a wedding reception in Ibadan,

how you use your body can attract someone in a subtle yet powerful way.

Key Body Language Tips for Flirting:

Open posture: Avoid crossing your arms, as it can appear defensive or uninterested. Stand or sit with your body slightly angled toward the person you’re speaking to.

Subtle touches: If the moment feels right, a light touch on the arm or shoulder can be a warm, welcoming gesture. Be sure not to overdo it, timing is everything.

Maintain good eye contact: But remember, don’t stare too intensely. A glance, followed by looking away briefly, is often the best way to communicate interest.

Mimic their movements: Subtly mirroring the person’s movements can create a sense of rapport. If they lean forward, you can lean forward too but don’t do it too obviously!

3. Master the Art of Conversation

Flirting doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian or come up with the best pickup lines. In fact, good conversation is the real key to effective flirting.

People are attracted to others who can keep the conversation flowing without it feeling forced.

The best conversations happen when there’s a balance of talking and listening. You want to ask questions, share interesting stories, and make the other person feel heard.

Flirty Conversation Tips:

Compliment genuinely: Instead of generic compliments like “You’re beautiful,” go for something specific like “I love how passionate you are about your work, it’s inspiring.”

Ask interesting questions: Get beyond the surface. Ask about passions, goals, or experiences. The deeper you go, the more genuine the connection feels.

Tease lightly: Playful teasing can be a great way to flirt, but be careful to avoid anything that could be taken as offensive or disrespectful. A little joke about their choice of drink or how they like to dance can bring a smile.

4. Know Your Timing and Space

In Nigeria, timing is everything when it comes to flirting. you need to be aware of the right moments to flirt.

Be mindful of the environment: Flirting is often best in casual settings where there’s space for natural conversation. A party or social gathering is ideal,

while a work environment might not be the best setting for flirting unless the chemistry is already there.

Also, understand that physical proximity plays a big role in flirting. Too much space might make you seem distant, while too little space might make the other person uncomfortable.

How to Flirt at the Right Time:

Pick the right moment: If someone is deep in conversation or seems distracted, it might not be the right time to flirt.

Respect personal space: Don’t crowd the person you’re interested in. Let the conversation flow naturally and respect their physical boundaries.

Be aware of cues: If someone steps back or changes the topic, it may be a signal to ease off. If they lean in or ask more questions, it’s probably a sign to keep going!

5. Keep It Light, Keep It Fun

Flirting should feel natural and enjoyable. The goal isn’t to rush into anything serious but to build a connection that may eventually lead somewhere deeper.

Keep the mood light-hearted—avoid heavy or controversial topics that could create tension. Laughter is often the best way to break the ice, and a shared sense of humor can make you instantly more attractive to the other person.

Flirting Tips to Keep It Fun:

Make light of awkward moments: If something awkward happens, laugh it off. Everyone appreciates someone who can keep things fun and relaxed.

Use humor to connect: Light jokes, playful remarks, or funny observations can build a stronger rapport. Just be sure the humor matches the other person’s vibe.

Be positive: A positive attitude is contagious. People are drawn to others who radiate good energy.

Conclusion

Flirting Is About Respect and Connection

Flirting is more than just trying to impress someone, it’s about building genuine connections in an enjoyable and respectful way.

In Nigerian culture, where respect, authenticity, and communication are highly valued, flirting should always be done with care and consideration.

By mastering these modern flirting tips, you can navigate the world of relationships and dating with confidence, ease, and maturity.

Whether you’re in a bustling Lagos club, chatting with someone online, or meeting someone at a family event, remember that the art of flirting lies in authenticity, respect, and fun.

So, get out there, have fun, and let the art of flirting lead you to meaningful connections.

The Orgasm Gap: Why It Still Exists and How to Close It

Published

21 hours ago

3 May 2025

Adesina Oluwatosin

Let’s talk about it. Openly. Honestly. Like real people.

The orgasm gap is real.

It’s the fact that in heterosexual relationships, men tend to reach orgasm more often than women consistently.

Study after study backs it up. In one, 95% of men said they “usually” climax during sex. For women? Just 65%. That’s a big gap.

And it’s not just about pleasure, it’s about fairness, connection, and feeling seen.

So, why does this gap still exist in 2025?

Let’s break it down, simple and honest.

1. We Still Treat Male Pleasure as the “Main Event”

Let’s be real: from movies to music to social media, the script of sex often centers on male satisfaction.

The build-up is about him. The finish is about him. And once he’s done, it’s assumed “sex is over.”

That mindset? It’s outdated. And unfair.

Because it teaches everyone especially women to shrink their expectations and just “enjoy the moment” even if they don’t finish.

2. Many Women Feel Afraid to Speak Up

Too many women are taught to prioritize the other person’s needs in bed,

not their own. Some fear being judged. Some don’t want to “kill the vibe.” Others have simply never had a safe space to explore what they like, let alone ask for it.

And let’s not ignore the cultural and religious influences that shame female sexuality or label women who know what they want as “too much.”

3. Not Enough People Understand the Female Body

Let’s just say it: the clitoris isn’t a mystery, it’s just ignored.

Vaginal penetration alone doesn’t do it for most women. But because of poor sex education, many partners still believe the lie that “in-and-out” equals pleasure.

Real intimacy means taking time to understand her body, not assuming one move fits all.

4. Sex Is Often Rushed

Between work, stress, and responsibilities, people rush sex like it’s another task to check off. But most women need time, emotional, mental, and physical, to really get in the mood.

Quickies can be fun, but when that’s all there is, real satisfaction suffers.

So, How Do We Close the Gap?

1. Talk. Really Talk.

Have honest, no-shame conversations about what feels good. Ask questions. Listen. Communicate during sex, not just after.

2. Prioritize Foreplay Like It’s the Main Dish

Not an appetizer. Take your time. Explore. Be curious. Foreplay is not a “pre-game” for many women, it is the game.

3. Normalize Sex Ed for Adults

We all missed something growing up. Read. Watch. Learn. Ask questions. Knowledge is sexy and powerful.

4. Drop the Performance, Embrace the Experience

Sex isn’t a show. It’s connection. Some nights it’s wild, some nights it’s soft, some nights it’s just holding each other. And that’s okay.

5. Make Female Pleasure a Shared Goal

Not a bonus. Not a maybe. A goal. When both partners are fully seen and fully satisfied, sex becomes something sacred. Not just physical, emotional and healing too.

Conclusion

The orgasm gap isn’t just about sex.

it’s about the space we give (or don’t give) women to own their pleasure, speak their truth, and be centered in the story.

And closing it? It starts with care. With listening. With unlearning.

It starts in the bedroom, but it’s a mindset shift that touches every part of how we love, respect, and relate to each other.

Because pleasure isn’t selfish.

It’s human.

And everyone deserves to feel it, fully.

Effective Ways to Get Past Relationship Problems

Published

5 days ago

29 April 2025

Divine Ogonna

Every form of relationship, whether romantic, friendship,or family relationship are bound to pass through some challenges. However, it is not these conflicts that defines our relationship but how well we are able to navigate the storm with understanding, patience, and commitment.

Facing relationship problem does not mean the end of a relationship. Instead, it’s a signal that your relationship can become better and stronger. Here are few effective ways to get past relationship problems and rebuild stronger bonds:

1. Practice Honest Communication:

One of the ways to get past through relationship hurt is to practice constant and honest communication. Don’t assume that your partner knows your feelings, needs and concern. Communicate about everything. Also do well to listen to your partner with an open heart. Don’t make your partner feel less of themselves simply because their concerns have been communicated to you.

2. Identify the Root Cause:

Most problems in relationship are symptoms of an underlying issue such as past trauma, lack of trust and the likes. Instead of tackling the surface issue, be wise enough to find out the underlying issue and tackle it.

3. Take Responsibility:

Take Responsibility for your actions and do not play the blame game. Recognize your mistakes; do well to address them and to tackle them head on. Resist the urge to passing the blame and refraining from taking charge.

ALSO READ:6 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

4. Seek to Understand, Not Just to Win

When having a conversation with your partner, always seek to understand the standpoint in order to deal with the issue rather than seeking for how to win the argument. Seek to understand, rather than to win. Seek to come to a resolution, instead of trying to prove a point.

5. Give Each Other Space

Sometimes, taking a step back allows for better judgement and encourages reflection. Emotions may cloud judgement so allowing a breathing space helps a lot.

There is no perfect relationship. Yet, virtues like love, empathy and consistent effort can mend the deepest cracks in any relationship.

Sex & Relashionships

7 Signs You’re the Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Published

6 days ago

28 April 2025

Fadire Olusola

The term ’emotionally unavailable’ has been thrown around, with very few people understanding what it means. A relationship is the coming together of people who promise to be committed and transparent. However, there are times in a relationship when one partner is emotionally unavailable, consciously or unconsciously.

Emotionally unavailable is when one partner struggles to love and connect with their partner. People in this state don’t want to be vulnerable and honest with their partner. Here are the signs you are the emotionally unavailable partner.

You Keep Giving Mixed Messages

The relationship is all about transparency and being honest with your partner. But when you start giving unclear messages, it signals you are emotionally unavailable. A partner that doesn’t take a stand in a relationship isn’t ready for the long haul. While confusion sometimes sets in during relationships, when it becomes consistent, you need to check yourself.

You Are Seeing Someone Else.

One major trait of an emotionally unavailable person is when you start cheating on your partner. If you are tired of a relationship, you should inform your partner.However, when you start dating someone else and don’t inform your partner, you are a dishonest person.

An emotionally unavailable partner doesn’t care about others’ feelings and only cares about satisfying their own list. The world has moved, and people now practise open relationships. If you still secretly see another person without your partner’s knowledge, you are guilty of emotional unavailability.

You Only Value Sex in Your Relationship.

Are you someone that only loves sex in your relationship? Is all you think of how you and your partner can be intimate? If yes, then you are showing traits of an emotionally unavailable partner. A relationship is more than sex and entails partners to care and look out for one another. It’s only those in shallow relationships that will think of only having sex with their partners. When you start avoiding deep and meaningful conversation with your partner and look out only for sex, you are becoming selfish.

Negative on Past Relationships

Breakups can sometimes be painful, especially when you really love the person. What’s bad is talking about your past relationships without telling the good sides of your ex, there is a problem. Avoid blaming your current partner for your present problems.

Lack of Emotional Expression

Expression of emotion in a relationship is not a sign of weakness, as opposed to what many people might say. Those who really care for their partners are open and care about their feelings. When you start feeling reserved and can talk to your partner about everything going on in your life, you are showing traits of being emotionally unavailable.

Not Involving Your Partner Before Making Crucial Decisions

When in a serious relationship, it’s important to always carry your partner along in all decisions that will affect each other. But when you start taking solo decisions without considering what your partner feels or wants, it could mean you have opted out emotionally. For men, they sometimes feel they need to make the decision, but when you are with someone, you need to ask what they want. Involving your partner shows the trust you have for them and that you cherish the relationship.

You Get Turned Off By Emotional Discussions

Another way to know you are the emotionally unavailable partner is when you refuse to partake in emotional discussions with your partner. When in this position, you always try to change the topic or show disinterest when your partner brings up an in-depth conversation. As couples, you should be able to have any type of discussion with someone you love.