Most of us stay in relationships longer than we should, not because of love, but because of fear, loneliness and what others will say. Moving on can be difficult but what’s worse is losing yourself in the process of trying to save a relationship that’s broken. Here are some clear signs that it’s time to move on:

No connection
When there’s no connection between you and your partner, conversations feel heavy, spending time with them feels like a chore or burden and the emotional attraction you once had has faded, it’s a red flag. Connections are not meant to be forced, it’s meant to flow naturally. So if you find yourself in this situation, it’s a sign.

No more intimacy

If the idea of being close emotionally or physically—repels you instead of pulling you closer like it used to be, that’s a big signal. Not that everything is about intimacy but it’s one of the important aspects that leads to a healthy bond. When that’s gone, the relationship starts to fizzle out or go south.

You’re always upset
All relationships have disagreements, but if the happy moments are lesser than the arguments, or for instance, you’re always irritated by little things your partner does and fixing the issues doesn’t change anything —it’s time to rethink things.

One sided
When you start noticing that you’re the only one putting in effort and your action isn’t being reciprocated by your partner or worse, your partner is just nonchalant and doesn’t care. That’s a sign to step back

Trust is broken
Trust is one of the important components of a successful relationship. Once there’s a seed of doubt because of betrayal, deceit, or constant disappointment, your partner has no value or respect for you or the bond you once shared. Without trust, the foundation is broken.

You Want Different Things in Life

Love isn’t the only thing that can sustain a relationship, love alone isn’t enough. You may care about each other deeply, but if one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, or one dreams of moving abroad while the other wants to stay close to family, it can get overwhelming. When your goals for the future doesn’t align, it feels like you’re walking two different paths. And if neither of you is willing to compromise, it’s time to say goodbye.

What to Do Once You Know It’s Time
So you’ve seen the signs, and your heart secretly knows the truth, even though you’ve been denying it. Here’s how to start taking steps that will help you heal:

Acknowledge Your Reality
Stop sugarcoating things. If you’ve been giving your partner the benefit of doubt or telling yourself “it’s just a phase,” it might be time to face what’s really going on. Accepting the truth is the first step.

Surround yourself with loved ones
Let go of what shouldn’t have been and focus on what matters. Be around people that genuinely cares about you like family, spend more time with actual friends and do things that make you happy.

Leave With Purpose
Walking away doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re choosing peace over anything. Step into what will help you grow, not just your comfort zone.

Prioritize Your Healing
Don’t be in a hurry to move on. It’s okay to grieve, reflect, and reset. Healing isn’t a bad thing, it gives room for progress.

Final Thoughts
Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing for both of you. A union is supposed to bring joy, not just struggle. No relationship is perfect, but when you start to feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally, that’s a huge red flag. It’s okay to step back and rethink things.

Have you ever had to leave a relationship that wasn’t right? What helped you finally make the move? Share your story below.

From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been taught so many ideas about love and relationships—through our parents, religious teachings, cultural norms, and Nollywood. Some of these beliefs are helpful, but many are myths that lead to confusion, pain, and unrealistic expectations. In Nigeria, where love and family are held in high regard, it’s time we start unlearning the relationship myths we grew up with—and replace them with healthier truths.

“True Love Conquers All”

We grew up hearing that as long as you truly love someone, everything would somehow work out. But in reality, love by itself isn’t always enough. You can love someone deeply and still struggle with communication, clashing values, financial stress, or personal growth. Thinking love fixes everything can make you overlook real issues that need to be addressed. Yes, love is the foundation—but it needs honesty, respect, and effort to thrive.

“Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”

In Nigerian society, Marriage is often seen as a final achievement or prize. Once a woman reaches a certain age, family members start asking, “When are you getting married?” But the truth is, marriage is not the end goal of life. It’s a journey shared with another person, not a final stop. Rushing into marriage to meet expectations or or avoid pressure can lead to unhappy unions. It’s okay to focus on personal growth, build your career, or take time to heal before choosing a life partner.

“You Must Marry Within Your Tribe or Religion”

This myth still persists in many homes. Some families believe love should only happen within your tribe or faith. But love often defies those boundaries. People from different backgrounds can have strong, happy relationships if they share the same values and are willing to respect each other’s differences. While family input is important, your happiness and peace should come first. Love should be about connection, not just culture.

“One Person Must Always Lead”

Traditionally, we’re taught that the man leads while the woman follows. But in today’s world, a relationship should feel like teamwork. Decisions should be made together, with both partners feeling heard. Whether it’s finances, parenting, or life plans, both voices matter. Respect and understanding make relationships stronger—not control.

“Jealousy Means You Care”

Many people mistake jealousy for love. Some believe if their partner isn’t jealous, then they must not care. But jealousy often comes from fear and insecurity, not love. Monitoring phones, interrogating, or arguing over harmless friendships can damage trust. Real love is built on trust, not control. If something is bothering you, have an open conversation instead of jumping to conclusions.

“Stay No Matter What” vs. “Leave at the First Fight”

We’ve often been stuck between two extremes. Some believe you should stay no matter what—even when it’s toxic. Others think that any problem means it’s time to leave. But the truth lies somewhere in between. Not every argument means the relationship should end, and not every relationship should be saved. The key is learning to tell the difference. If the issues are fixable, work through them together. If the relationship becomes harmful, it’s okay to walk away.

How to Unlearn These Myths

Unlearning doesn’t happen overnight. It starts by asking yourself where your beliefs came from and whether they’re still serving you in a healthy way. Talk with people you trust about what you’re discovering. Watch couples who have balanced and honest relationships—not perfect couples, but real, emotionally honest ones. Set clear boundaries for what you want in love, and communicate them with your partner. Listen more. Talk openly. When you both navigate conflict or tough conversations with more care, celebrate those moments.

Love is beautiful—but to truly enjoy it, we must unlearn the myths we’ve been told.

The truth is, every relationship is different. What works for others might not suit you—and that’s perfectly fine.

By letting go of beliefs like “love conquers all” or “marry before you run out of time,” you give yourself a better chance at finding real, lasting happiness. Choose what works for you.

Build a love that fits your heart—not just society’s script.

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