Sex & Relashionships

The Orgasm Gap: Why It Still Exists and How to Close It

Published

13 hours ago

3 May 2025

Adesina Oluwatosin

Let’s talk about it. Openly. Honestly. Like real people.

The orgasm gap is real.

It’s the fact that in heterosexual relationships, men tend to reach orgasm more often than women consistently.

Study after study backs it up. In one, 95% of men said they “usually” climax during sex. For women? Just 65%. That’s a big gap.

And it’s not just about pleasure, it’s about fairness, connection, and feeling seen.

So, why does this gap still exist in 2025?

Let’s break it down, simple and honest.

1. We Still Treat Male Pleasure as the “Main Event”

Let’s be real: from movies to music to social media, the script of sex often centers on male satisfaction.

The build-up is about him. The finish is about him. And once he’s done, it’s assumed “sex is over.”

That mindset? It’s outdated. And unfair.

Because it teaches everyone especially women to shrink their expectations and just “enjoy the moment” even if they don’t finish.

2. Many Women Feel Afraid to Speak Up

Too many women are taught to prioritize the other person’s needs in bed,

not their own. Some fear being judged. Some don’t want to “kill the vibe.” Others have simply never had a safe space to explore what they like, let alone ask for it.

And let’s not ignore the cultural and religious influences that shame female sexuality or label women who know what they want as “too much.”

3. Not Enough People Understand the Female Body

Let’s just say it: the clitoris isn’t a mystery, it’s just ignored.

Vaginal penetration alone doesn’t do it for most women. But because of poor sex education, many partners still believe the lie that “in-and-out” equals pleasure.

Real intimacy means taking time to understand her body, not assuming one move fits all.

4. Sex Is Often Rushed

Between work, stress, and responsibilities, people rush sex like it’s another task to check off. But most women need time, emotional, mental, and physical, to really get in the mood.

Quickies can be fun, but when that’s all there is, real satisfaction suffers.

So, How Do We Close the Gap?

1. Talk. Really Talk.

Have honest, no-shame conversations about what feels good. Ask questions. Listen. Communicate during sex, not just after.

2. Prioritize Foreplay Like It’s the Main Dish

Not an appetizer. Take your time. Explore. Be curious. Foreplay is not a “pre-game” for many women, it is the game.

3. Normalize Sex Ed for Adults

We all missed something growing up. Read. Watch. Learn. Ask questions. Knowledge is sexy and powerful.

4. Drop the Performance, Embrace the Experience

Sex isn’t a show. It’s connection. Some nights it’s wild, some nights it’s soft, some nights it’s just holding each other. And that’s okay.

5. Make Female Pleasure a Shared Goal

Not a bonus. Not a maybe. A goal. When both partners are fully seen and fully satisfied, sex becomes something sacred. Not just physical, emotional and healing too.

Conclusion

The orgasm gap isn’t just about sex.

it’s about the space we give (or don’t give) women to own their pleasure, speak their truth, and be centered in the story.

And closing it? It starts with care. With listening. With unlearning.

It starts in the bedroom, but it’s a mindset shift that touches every part of how we love, respect, and relate to each other.

Because pleasure isn’t selfish.

It’s human.

And everyone deserves to feel it, fully.

Effective Ways to Get Past Relationship Problems

Published

5 days ago

29 April 2025

Divine Ogonna

Every form of relationship, whether romantic, friendship,or family relationship are bound to pass through some challenges. However, it is not these conflicts that defines our relationship but how well we are able to navigate the storm with understanding, patience, and commitment.

Facing relationship problem does not mean the end of a relationship. Instead, it’s a signal that your relationship can become better and stronger. Here are few effective ways to get past relationship problems and rebuild stronger bonds:

1. Practice Honest Communication:

One of the ways to get past through relationship hurt is to practice constant and honest communication. Don’t assume that your partner knows your feelings, needs and concern. Communicate about everything. Also do well to listen to your partner with an open heart. Don’t make your partner feel less of themselves simply because their concerns have been communicated to you.

2. Identify the Root Cause:

Most problems in relationship are symptoms of an underlying issue such as past trauma, lack of trust and the likes. Instead of tackling the surface issue, be wise enough to find out the underlying issue and tackle it.

3. Take Responsibility:

Take Responsibility for your actions and do not play the blame game. Recognize your mistakes; do well to address them and to tackle them head on. Resist the urge to passing the blame and refraining from taking charge.

ALSO READ:6 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

4. Seek to Understand, Not Just to Win

When having a conversation with your partner, always seek to understand the standpoint in order to deal with the issue rather than seeking for how to win the argument. Seek to understand, rather than to win. Seek to come to a resolution, instead of trying to prove a point.

5. Give Each Other Space

Sometimes, taking a step back allows for better judgement and encourages reflection. Emotions may cloud judgement so allowing a breathing space helps a lot.

There is no perfect relationship. Yet, virtues like love, empathy and consistent effort can mend the deepest cracks in any relationship.

Sex & Relashionships

7 Signs You’re the Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Published

5 days ago

28 April 2025

Fadire Olusola

The term ’emotionally unavailable’ has been thrown around, with very few people understanding what it means. A relationship is the coming together of people who promise to be committed and transparent. However, there are times in a relationship when one partner is emotionally unavailable, consciously or unconsciously.

Emotionally unavailable is when one partner struggles to love and connect with their partner. People in this state don’t want to be vulnerable and honest with their partner. Here are the signs you are the emotionally unavailable partner.

You Keep Giving Mixed Messages

The relationship is all about transparency and being honest with your partner. But when you start giving unclear messages, it signals you are emotionally unavailable. A partner that doesn’t take a stand in a relationship isn’t ready for the long haul. While confusion sometimes sets in during relationships, when it becomes consistent, you need to check yourself.

You Are Seeing Someone Else.

One major trait of an emotionally unavailable person is when you start cheating on your partner. If you are tired of a relationship, you should inform your partner.However, when you start dating someone else and don’t inform your partner, you are a dishonest person.

An emotionally unavailable partner doesn’t care about others’ feelings and only cares about satisfying their own list. The world has moved, and people now practise open relationships. If you still secretly see another person without your partner’s knowledge, you are guilty of emotional unavailability.

You Only Value Sex in Your Relationship.

Are you someone that only loves sex in your relationship? Is all you think of how you and your partner can be intimate? If yes, then you are showing traits of an emotionally unavailable partner. A relationship is more than sex and entails partners to care and look out for one another. It’s only those in shallow relationships that will think of only having sex with their partners. When you start avoiding deep and meaningful conversation with your partner and look out only for sex, you are becoming selfish.

Negative on Past Relationships

Breakups can sometimes be painful, especially when you really love the person. What’s bad is talking about your past relationships without telling the good sides of your ex, there is a problem. Avoid blaming your current partner for your present problems.

Lack of Emotional Expression

Expression of emotion in a relationship is not a sign of weakness, as opposed to what many people might say. Those who really care for their partners are open and care about their feelings. When you start feeling reserved and can talk to your partner about everything going on in your life, you are showing traits of being emotionally unavailable.

Not Involving Your Partner Before Making Crucial Decisions

When in a serious relationship, it’s important to always carry your partner along in all decisions that will affect each other. But when you start taking solo decisions without considering what your partner feels or wants, it could mean you have opted out emotionally. For men, they sometimes feel they need to make the decision, but when you are with someone, you need to ask what they want. Involving your partner shows the trust you have for them and that you cherish the relationship.

You Get Turned Off By Emotional Discussions

Another way to know you are the emotionally unavailable partner is when you refuse to partake in emotional discussions with your partner. When in this position, you always try to change the topic or show disinterest when your partner brings up an in-depth conversation. As couples, you should be able to have any type of discussion with someone you love.

Bottom Line

When you notice the above-mentioned signs, it signals that you are distancing from your partner emotionally. If you still want the relationship to succeed, you need to take appropriate steps.

Sex & Relashionships

6 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Published

1 week ago

25 April 2025

Fadire Olusola

A relationship without both partners trusting one another is bound to fail. Distrust between couoles is not uncommon, as there are reasons people don’t trust their partners Meanwhile, getting your partner to believe and be honest with you is not automatic; it should be earned.Here are some ways to help build trust in your relationship.

Have Open Conversations

If you want to build trust in your relationship, be honest. While this makes you vulnerable, it will make your partner trust you more. When you are vulnerable, you are telling your partner that you have nothing to hide, and you want them to know everything about you.

Honesty

Honesty remains one of the best ways to build trust. By being open and transparent in your dealings, your partner knows you value them and care about their mental health. By telling them everything happening in your life, they become more secure and comfortable with you.

Be Empathetic

It is good to be emphatic to your partner as it makes them comfortable. When there are no signs of empathy from your side, your partner may feel alone and isolated. This is especially important if you are dating those with mental concerns; showing you listen and care makes them feel loved.

Don’t Assume

Assumptions can be harmful to relationships as it sends a bad signal to your partner that they don’t care. Your partner should always matter in whatever you do in life. While it could be tricky putting your partner above your friends, it’s the wise thing to do. Make sure your partner is your focus and do everything possible to make them happy. Avoid starting things you can’t finish; keep showing kind gestures, love, and gratitude towards your partner.

Be Careful when Making Decisions

“When making important relationship decisions, it’s necessary to take your time. Rash judgments can lead to relationships death quickly. Impulsive actions can compound issues, causing serious damage. Therefore, slowing down and making thoughtful decisions is crucial for the health and growth of a relationship.”

Don’t Take Your Partner for Granted

Always respect your partner in every situation. While you might have other relationships like friends and colleagues, your partner should be your priority. They have been in your life for some time, and you should never take them for granted.

Final Thoughts

Building trust requires some effort from both you and your partner, but it’s worth it. The above-mentioned ways are necessary for those who want their relationship to be stress-free and blissful.