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Sex & Relashionships

The Orgasm Gap: Why It Still Exists and How to Close It

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Let’s talk about it. Openly. Honestly. Like real people.

The orgasm gap is real.

It’s the fact that in heterosexual relationships, men tend to reach orgasm more often than women consistently.

Study after study backs it up. In one, 95% of men said they “usually” climax during sex. For women? Just 65%. That’s a big gap.

And it’s not just about pleasure, it’s about fairness, connection, and feeling seen.

So, why does this gap still exist in 2025?

Let’s break it down, simple and honest.

1. We Still Treat Male Pleasure as the “Main Event”

Let’s be real: from movies to music to social media, the script of sex often centers on male satisfaction.

The build-up is about him. The finish is about him. And once he’s done, it’s assumed “sex is over.”

That mindset? It’s outdated. And unfair.

Because it teaches everyone especially women to shrink their expectations and just “enjoy the moment” even if they don’t finish.

2. Many Women Feel Afraid to Speak Up

Too many women are taught to prioritize the other person’s needs in bed,

not their own. Some fear being judged. Some don’t want to “kill the vibe.” Others have simply never had a safe space to explore what they like, let alone ask for it.

And let’s not ignore the cultural and religious influences that shame female sexuality or label women who know what they want as “too much.”

3. Not Enough People Understand the Female Body

Let’s just say it: the clitoris isn’t a mystery, it’s just ignored.

Vaginal penetration alone doesn’t do it for most women. But because of poor sex education, many partners still believe the lie that “in-and-out” equals pleasure.

Real intimacy means taking time to understand her body, not assuming one move fits all.

4. Sex Is Often Rushed

Between work, stress, and responsibilities, people rush sex like it’s another task to check off. But most women need time, emotional, mental, and physical, to really get in the mood.

Quickies can be fun, but when that’s all there is, real satisfaction suffers.

So, How Do We Close the Gap?

1. Talk. Really Talk.

Have honest, no-shame conversations about what feels good. Ask questions. Listen. Communicate during sex, not just after.

2. Prioritize Foreplay Like It’s the Main Dish

Not an appetizer. Take your time. Explore. Be curious. Foreplay is not a “pre-game” for many women, it is the game.

3. Normalize Sex Ed for Adults

We all missed something growing up. Read. Watch. Learn. Ask questions. Knowledge is sexy and powerful.

4. Drop the Performance, Embrace the Experience

Sex isn’t a show. It’s connection. Some nights it’s wild, some nights it’s soft, some nights it’s just holding each other. And that’s okay.

5. Make Female Pleasure a Shared Goal

Not a bonus. Not a maybe. A goal. When both partners are fully seen and fully satisfied, sex becomes something sacred. Not just physical, emotional and healing too.

Conclusion

The orgasm gap isn’t just about sex.

it’s about the space we give (or don’t give) women to own their pleasure, speak their truth, and be centered in the story.

And closing it? It starts with care. With listening. With unlearning.

It starts in the bedroom, but it’s a mindset shift that touches every part of how we love, respect, and relate to each other.

Because pleasure isn’t selfish.

It’s human.

And everyone deserves to feel it, fully.

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Sex & Relashionships

Why Sex Belongs in Your Wellness Routine

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When Nigerians talk about wellness, the conversation usually revolves aroun‎d eating right, hitting the gym, or meditating at sunrise. But there’s one part of health that rarely gets attention, even in casual conversations: sex. It’s more than pleasure; it’s a natural way to boost your mood, sharpen your body, and ease stress.

Sex works like a workout, raising your heart rate, engaging muscles, and improving circulation. It may not replace a full gym session, but it counts as physical activity. Regular intimacy has been linked to better sleep, stronger immunity, and even lower blood pressure, all without leaving your bedroom.

The mental benefits are just as powerful. Intimacy releases hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, the same chemicals that give you a rush after Sunday football or a lively dance session at a Lagos party. These natural boosts can help fight stress, ease anxiety, and improve your focus on work or studies.

Sex also helps you stay in tune with your body. It’s not about checking boxes or meeting expectations. Whether it’s the closeness with a partner or simply exploring your own body, intimacy can build confidence and remind you that wellness is about feeling alive, not just looking healthy.

For couples, regular intimacy strengthens bonds and keeps relationships resilient through everyday pressures. For singles, understanding your own needs can be just as empowering. Approaching sex intentionally, safely, and consensually makes it a way to care for yourself, rather than a chore.

In Nigeria, talking openly about sexual health can still be tricky. But including intimacy as part of your wellness routine is essential. Ignoring it doesn’t make it less important; it only limits one of the simplest ways to feel happier and healthier.

So, the next time you think about wellness, whether it’s a morning run, a smoothie, or a mindfulness session, remember that pleasure has a role too. A healthy sex life can boost your energy, improve your mood, and leave you feeling more balanced, body and mind.

 

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Sex & Relashionships

Can Your Partner’s Scent Actually Reduce Anxiety?

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Ever noticed how just catching a whiff of your partner can make a stressful day feel a little lighter? That comforting smell isn’t just in your head; science suggests it can have real calming effects.

Research indicates that familiar scents, like your partner’s perfume, cologne, or natural body odor, may trigger the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and relaxation. Simply hugging your partner, snuggling, or keeping a worn T-shirt nearby can help you feel calmer after a tense day.

Our brains are wired to connect smells with memories and emotions. The olfactory system interacts closely with areas of the brain that regulate fear and anxiety, such as the amygdala. That’s why a partner’s scent can give an almost instant sense of comfort and safety.

For couples in long-distance relationships, these effects can be especially valuable. Swapping clothing items or using shared-scented products can create a sense of closeness even when physical hugs aren’t possible. In daily life, this subtle connection can strengthen emotional bonds while easing stress.

Of course, the effect isn’t the same for everyone. Personal preferences, past experiences, and even genetics can influence how soothing a partner’s scent feels. But for many people, a familiar fragrance is a simple, quietly powerful way to feel more relaxed and connected.

 

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Sex & Relashionships

What is Shreking? The Trend Changing Modern Relationships

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Dating in Nigeria today comes with twists and turns we never saw coming. From swiping on apps to endless chats on WhatsApp, it feels like the rules keep changing. And now, there’s a new term in town: Shreking. No, it has nothing to do with ogres or fairy tales. This is a modern dating habit that’s quietly taking over.

What Shreking Really Means

Shreking is when someone dates a person they’re not genuinely attracted to, often because they hope the other person will treat them like a queen or king. It’s not about love or chemistry; it’s about comfort, attention, or perks.

Imagine dating someone who buys you gifts, always wants to spend time with you, or goes out of their way to make you feel special, but deep down, you don’t feel that spark. That is Shreking in action.

Why People Shrek

People Shrek for different reasons. Some are tired of being rejected and settle for someone who will appreciate them. Others are drawn to the security or admiration a partner offers rather than genuine feelings.

With dating apps making it easy to meet people but hard to build real connections, Shreking becomes a shortcut. It is a way to enjoy the perks of being in a relationship without the messy work of emotional investment.

The Risks Involved

Shreking might feel harmless at first, but it comes with consequences. The person being Shreked often ends up confused and hurt, thinking there’s a deeper connection. Meanwhile, the person doing the Shreking risks missing out on real intimacy because the relationship is based on convenience rather than attraction.

It also creates awkward situations. When honesty is missing, expectations clash, and both sides can end up frustrated.

Is This a New Thing?

Not really. People have always dated for reasons other than love: status, comfort, or stability. What is different now is that social media and dating apps make it more visible and easier to discuss. Shreking simply has a catchy new name.

How to Navigate It

If you’re dating in today’s world, it helps to pay attention to your motives and theirs. Ask yourself: Are you with someone because of genuine attraction, or because they make your life easier? Notice if someone is truly interested in you, or just what you bring to the table.

Relationships work best when both people feel a real connection and make an effort for each other. Shreking may provide temporary comfort, but it rarely leads to something lasting.

Bottom Line

Shreking is more than slang. It reflects how modern dating is evolving and makes us question the choices we make about love and connection. Next time someone asks if you’re Shreking, pause and reflect. Your answer may reveal more about your heart than you expect.

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