Ever noticed how just catching a whiff of your partner can make a stressful day feel a little lighter? That comforting smell isn’t just in your head; science suggests it can have real calming effects.

Research indicates that familiar scents, like your partner’s perfume, cologne, or natural body odor, may trigger the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and relaxation. Simply hugging your partner, snuggling, or keeping a worn T-shirt nearby can help you feel calmer after a tense day.

Our brains are wired to connect smells with memories and emotions. The olfactory system interacts closely with areas of the brain that regulate fear and anxiety, such as the amygdala. That’s why a partner’s scent can give an almost instant sense of comfort and safety.

For couples in long-distance relationships, these effects can be especially valuable. Swapping clothing items or using shared-scented products can create a sense of closeness even when physical hugs aren’t possible. In daily life, this subtle connection can strengthen emotional bonds while easing stress.

Of course, the effect isn’t the same for everyone. Personal preferences, past experiences, and even genetics can influence how soothing a partner’s scent feels. But for many people, a familiar fragrance is a simple, quietly powerful way to feel more relaxed and connected.

Dating in Nigeria today comes with twists and turns we never saw coming. From swiping on apps to endless chats on WhatsApp, it feels like the rules keep changing. And now, there’s a new term in town: Shreking. No, it has nothing to do with ogres or fairy tales. This is a modern dating habit that’s quietly taking over.

What Shreking Really Means

Shreking is when someone dates a person they’re not genuinely attracted to, often because they hope the other person will treat them like a queen or king. It’s not about love or chemistry; it’s about comfort, attention, or perks.

Imagine dating someone who buys you gifts, always wants to spend time with you, or goes out of their way to make you feel special, but deep down, you don’t feel that spark. That is Shreking in action.

Why People Shrek

People Shrek for different reasons. Some are tired of being rejected and settle for someone who will appreciate them. Others are drawn to the security or admiration a partner offers rather than genuine feelings.

With dating apps making it easy to meet people but hard to build real connections, Shreking becomes a shortcut. It is a way to enjoy the perks of being in a relationship without the messy work of emotional investment.

The Risks Involved

Shreking might feel harmless at first, but it comes with consequences. The person being Shreked often ends up confused and hurt, thinking there’s a deeper connection. Meanwhile, the person doing the Shreking risks missing out on real intimacy because the relationship is based on convenience rather than attraction.

It also creates awkward situations. When honesty is missing, expectations clash, and both sides can end up frustrated.

Is This a New Thing?

Not really. People have always dated for reasons other than love: status, comfort, or stability. What is different now is that social media and dating apps make it more visible and easier to discuss. Shreking simply has a catchy new name.

How to Navigate It

If you’re dating in today’s world, it helps to pay attention to your motives and theirs. Ask yourself: Are you with someone because of genuine attraction, or because they make your life easier? Notice if someone is truly interested in you, or just what you bring to the table.

Relationships work best when both people feel a real connection and make an effort for each other. Shreking may provide temporary comfort, but it rarely leads to something lasting.

Bottom Line

Shreking is more than slang. It reflects how modern dating is evolving and makes us question the choices we make about love and connection. Next time someone asks if you’re Shreking, pause and reflect. Your answer may reveal more about your heart than you expect.

Emotional pain doesn’t always show on the surface. For many, the hardest blow is being left behind, whether by a parent, a partner, or someone they trusted. That kind of loss can linger quietly into adulthood. You might cling too tightly in relationships, fear rejection before it even happens, or struggle to believe people will stay. These patterns often point to what psychologists call abandonment issues.

Recognising them is the first step to healing. Here are common signs and ways to start moving forward.

Trust Feels Difficult

If every new relationship feels like a test, abandonment fears may be at play. Expecting people to leave makes it hard to feel secure and even harder to maintain healthy connections.

Pulling Away Before You Get Hurt

Some protect themselves by leaving before they can be left. It feels safer to pull back, but this defence often creates the very loneliness it tries to prevent.

Needing Constant Reassurance

Everyone wants comfort sometimes, but constantly seeking proof of love or loyalty can become draining. That need can slowly wear down friendships and romantic partnerships.

Trouble Setting Boundaries

Fears of being abandoned can push people into over-giving, tolerating too much, or staying in unhealthy situations just to avoid being alone. Over time, this erodes self-worth.

Overreacting to Distance

When someone misses a call, travels, or becomes busy, it can feel like rejection. Small absences may trigger intense reactions, even when no harm was intended.

Steps Toward Healing

Admitting the wound is not weakness; it is proof you are ready to grow. Healing is less about erasing the past and more about learning to live without fear controlling your relationships.

Learn to Self-Soothe

Rather than relying on others to calm your anxiety, practise grounding techniques: deep breathing, journaling, prayer, or meditation. These habits build resilience.

Talk About It

Keeping it to yourself often strengthens the fear. Therapy, counselling, or honest conversations with a trusted friend can help you trace the roots of your feelings.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Balanced relationships require mutual respect. Learning to say no, honour your needs, and avoid overextending yourself helps you feel secure without clinging.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

When your mind whispers “they’ll leave,” pause and ask: Is this fear or fact? Reframing your thoughts gradually weakens the cycle of anxiety.

Be Patient With Yourself

Healing is not linear. Some days will feel easier than others, but every step counts. Awareness alone is already progress.

Abandonment issues do not have to define your life. By recognising the signs and taking steady steps to heal, you can build relationships rooted in trust rather than fear. Most importantly, you can begin to see yourself as enough, regardless of who stays or goes.