First dates can be scary for most people as there are many expectations that they look forward to. What if their dates don’t meet their expectations and they are disappointed. This is a huge concern to many people when preparing for a date. Here are some Unspoken Rules people should have in mind when going on first dates.

The Venue should be in a Public Place

The world remains highly unsafe despite several precautions put in place by security agencies, that’s why your first date should be in a public location. It will be difficult for anyone to kidnap or hurt you in a public venue.The top recommendations are :

• Restaurants
• Beach
• Libraries
• Waterfronts
• Parks

Inform At least One Person

It will be in your best interests to confide in one person about the date. This could be your friend, brother, uncle, parents, or neighbor. Some information you should tell the person should include :

• Who the Date is
• His/Her Phone Number
• The Date location

After a first date, be sure to let someone close to you know that you’re safe and sound.First Dates can be tricky; you should let someone close to you know how to find you in case something goes wrong.

Wear Something Comfortable

While it’s important to always look good during a first date, it’s best to be comfortable with your desired outfit. A skirt or a nice gown can be a good choice. For men, a pair of jeans and round-neck jeans is an ideal choice. There are some good suggestions from Nordstrom that you should check out. The idea is to make a good first impression and be comfy.

Read Also : How To Accessorise Your Outfit to Look Chic

Get There Early 

When it comes to the first date, it’s important to arrive on time. Lateness should be avoided as this sends a bad signal and makes you seem an unreliable person. Make sure you get there 5-10 minutes before the agreed time. This shows you are someone who keeps to their word and comes out dependable. Getting to the date early also allows you to have a perfect view of the place and choose an ideal seat you are comfortable with.

Come with Your Money

There are two suggestions on who should pay for a first date. While some believe a man should pay for a date, others think whoever asks for the date should pay the bill. The easiest solution is to plan on covering your own expenses. if you are visiting restaurants and bars. If you want to avoid payment issues, you could choose to hang out at parks or the library.

Ask Questions To Show Interest 

You should try to engage in meaningful conversations with your date and ask questions. This will portray you as someone  who is smart and who is interested in something serious. There are an array of topics you could pick your interest like sports, personal and social lifestyle, education, celebrities, and future expectations.

Talk around intimacy and sex may or may not be discussed during first dates. This is because individuals’ upbringing and culture differ when it comes to sexually related subjects. Overall, go to a date to have fun, but ensure that your safety should be a priority.

There is a deep connection between sex and mental health and why it’s not just about the orgasm sex isn’t just a physical act.

It’s tangled up with our emotions, our self-worth, and even our mental well-being. Whether you’re having it regularly, not at all, or somewhere in between, sex (or the lack of it) plays a bigger role in your mental health than you might think.  

1. Sex as a Mood Booster (Thanks to  Science!)

Ever noticed how a good romp in the sheets can make stress melt away? That’s not just in your head, literally. Sex releases a cocktail of feel-good chemicals:  

– Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) promotes bonding and reduces anxiety. 

– Endorphins act like natural painkillers and stress relievers. 

– Dopamine gives you that euphoric, “I’m on top of the world” feeling.  

It’s like nature’s antidepressant, no prescription needed. But here’s the catch: it only works when the sex is good and consensual. Bad or forced sex? That can do the exact opposite.  

2. When Sex is Missing: The Frustration Factor  

Dry spells happen, life gets busy, relationships hit rough patches, or maybe you’re just not feeling it. But when sex disappears for too long, it can mess with your head:  

– Self-esteem takes a hit (“Am I unattractive?”)  

– Anxiety creeps in (“Is something wrong with me?”)  

– Resentment builds (especially in relationships where one person wants it more)  

It’s not just about “getting some.” It’s about feeling desired, connected, and alive.  

3. Bad Sex vs. Good Sex: The Mental Health Divide

Not all sex is created equal. Great sex can make you feel invincible. Bad sex (or worse, obligation sex) can leave you feeling empty, used, or even ashamed.  

– Good sex = mutual pleasure, communication, presence.  

– Bad sex = performance pressure, disconnection, regret.  

If sex leaves you feeling worse afterward, it’s worth asking why. Are you doing it for yourself, or for someone else’s approval?  

4. The Dark Side: When Sex Hurts Instead of Heals 

For some, sex isn’t a happy topic. Trauma, dysfunction, or past abuse can turn intimacy into a minefield. If sex triggers anxiety, shame, or panic, therapy (especially with a sex-positive counselor) can help rebuild a healthier relationship with it.  

5. What If You’re Just Not Into It?

And that’s completely okay. Asexuality, low libido (thanks to stress!), or just personal preference, you don’t need sex to be mentally healthy. What matters is honesty with yourself and your partner(s).  

Read Also: Sex and Relationships: Effective Ways to Deliver Criticism to Your Partner Without Causing Conflict

Sex is Mental, Not Just Physical, your brain is your biggest sex organ. If your mental health is struggling, your sex life will reflect that. And if your sex life is off, your mood will too. The key? Don’t ignore it. 

Talk about it, explore it, and above all make sure it’s serving you, not hurting you.  

So… how’s your relationship with sex these days? (No judgment here.)  

Sex and sexual intimacy is a very sensitive and crucial part of a relationship and honestly, for some relationships, what would make or break it is the quality of sexual intimacy.

Bad sex therefore can leave one or both partners feeling dissatisfied, disconnected and frustrated and if not checked on time, in some cases can lead to the end of a relationship.

Whatever it is you struggle with sexually especially with your partner doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship and so this article would point out tips that would improve your sexual intimacy so you have a happier relationship.

1. Openly and Honestly Communicate

Healthy communication strengthens bonds

Communication is important for the growth of a relationship and that doesn’t exclude communication about sexual activity. One mistake a lot of people make is keeping quiet about something you don’t like that is going on.

If you don’t feel satisfied, speak up. You want to explore more, speak up. You don’t like a thing or two your partner does, speak up.

You are not a mind reader and your partner isn’t one either, the only way they know what they should improve on is when you communicate about it.

Don’t be scared to communicate your feelings or make the mistake of thinking you can endure it. Open up to your partner so you both can find a lasting solution to the issue or concern.

2. Prioritize Foreplay and Emotional Connection

Prioritize foreplay and emotional connection

Another mistake a lot of partners especially the males make is skipping foreplay entirely and rushing to sex. A study in 2022 by LELO found that 70% of women reported not getting enough foreplay before sex.

This could lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment as foreplay is not just about physical touch but also about connection and sexual intimacy with your partner.

To improve foreplay, try non-sexual intimacy including deep conversations, eye contact and laughter, explore different types of touch, either massage or light teasing, etc. This builds anticipation before sexual intimacy.

3. Stay Confident

Stay confident

Stay confident especially during sexual intimacy is important. A lack of confidence in your body or performance would lead to feelings of self consciousness and stress that reduces the quality of sex. The more confident you feel, the better the experience for you and your partner.

To boost sexual confidence, wear something you’re comfortable and confident in, especially for ladies. Make sure to focus on what you love about yourself and not your imperfections.

Most importantly, understand that sex is not about being perfect, it’s about connecting with your partner and the both of you fulfilling your sexual desires and expectations.

4. Keep Things Adventurous and Exciting.

Keep things exciting and adventurous

You begin to have a problem when sex feels like a burdensome chore and not something to look forward to doing with your partner. This is why you should not make sex a routine, it kills passion.

Here are things to try:

1. Explore a new location different from where you and your partner are used to or switch up the regular position.

2. Explore foreplay, fantasies and whatever else you both are comfortable with. Don’t be put in a box!

You can plan a surprise, intimate date that leads to sexual intimacy. Surprises spice up things too!

5. Educate Yourself and Explore Together

Stay informed and knowledgeable about intimacy and sexual activity

A lot of people have so many misconceptions about sex, relationships and intimacy and that is why being knowledgeable about some things would naturally improve the quality of your relationship sexually and otherwise.

Learn and grow together by reading books, watching videos, attending workshops that teach about intimacy. You can also discuss boundaries and desires openly and focus more on connection.

By noting and acting on these steps, you can improve the quality of your sexual activity and intimacy with your partner. The key focus is being open about your desire and striving to connect with your partner. With understanding, time and effort, you can build a happier, more intimate relationship both in and outside the bedroom.

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