From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been taught so many ideas about love and relationships—through our parents, religious teachings, cultural norms, and Nollywood. Some of these beliefs are helpful, but many are myths that lead to confusion, pain, and unrealistic expectations. In Nigeria, where love and family are held in high regard, it’s time we start unlearning the relationship myths we grew up with—and replace them with healthier truths.

“True Love Conquers All”

We grew up hearing that as long as you truly love someone, everything would somehow work out. But in reality, love by itself isn’t always enough. You can love someone deeply and still struggle with communication, clashing values, financial stress, or personal growth. Thinking love fixes everything can make you overlook real issues that need to be addressed. Yes, love is the foundation—but it needs honesty, respect, and effort to thrive.

“Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”

In Nigerian society, Marriage is often seen as a final achievement or prize. Once a woman reaches a certain age, family members start asking, “When are you getting married?” But the truth is, marriage is not the end goal of life. It’s a journey shared with another person, not a final stop. Rushing into marriage to meet expectations or or avoid pressure can lead to unhappy unions. It’s okay to focus on personal growth, build your career, or take time to heal before choosing a life partner.

“You Must Marry Within Your Tribe or Religion”

This myth still persists in many homes. Some families believe love should only happen within your tribe or faith. But love often defies those boundaries. People from different backgrounds can have strong, happy relationships if they share the same values and are willing to respect each other’s differences. While family input is important, your happiness and peace should come first. Love should be about connection, not just culture.

“One Person Must Always Lead”

Traditionally, we’re taught that the man leads while the woman follows. But in today’s world, a relationship should feel like teamwork. Decisions should be made together, with both partners feeling heard. Whether it’s finances, parenting, or life plans, both voices matter. Respect and understanding make relationships stronger—not control.

“Jealousy Means You Care”

Many people mistake jealousy for love. Some believe if their partner isn’t jealous, then they must not care. But jealousy often comes from fear and insecurity, not love. Monitoring phones, interrogating, or arguing over harmless friendships can damage trust. Real love is built on trust, not control. If something is bothering you, have an open conversation instead of jumping to conclusions.

“Stay No Matter What” vs. “Leave at the First Fight”

We’ve often been stuck between two extremes. Some believe you should stay no matter what—even when it’s toxic. Others think that any problem means it’s time to leave. But the truth lies somewhere in between. Not every argument means the relationship should end, and not every relationship should be saved. The key is learning to tell the difference. If the issues are fixable, work through them together. If the relationship becomes harmful, it’s okay to walk away.

How to Unlearn These Myths

Unlearning doesn’t happen overnight. It starts by asking yourself where your beliefs came from and whether they’re still serving you in a healthy way. Talk with people you trust about what you’re discovering. Watch couples who have balanced and honest relationships—not perfect couples, but real, emotionally honest ones. Set clear boundaries for what you want in love, and communicate them with your partner. Listen more. Talk openly. When you both navigate conflict or tough conversations with more care, celebrate those moments.

Love is beautiful—but to truly enjoy it, we must unlearn the myths we’ve been told.

The truth is, every relationship is different. What works for others might not suit you—and that’s perfectly fine.

By letting go of beliefs like “love conquers all” or “marry before you run out of time,” you give yourself a better chance at finding real, lasting happiness. Choose what works for you.

Build a love that fits your heart—not just society’s script.

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“Age is just a number” is a common saying that has divided many opinions. There are divergent views when it concerns the importance of age between couples. Some men are older but immature, and there are young ladies who behave maturely. While some believe that a wide age gap is a red flag in a relationship, some don’t see age as an important factor to consider in a relationship. Here are some reasons age is a factor and why it might not be important.

Why Age Shouldn’t Be Ignored in Relationships 

Here are some situations when ages matter in a relationship:

Life Pattern and Aspirations

A significant age gap can influence partners’ life outlook and priorities. When a woman in her 20s dates a man in his 40s or 50s, their priorities often differ significantly. She may be focused on completing her education, building a career, and establishing her independence. Meanwhile, a more mature partner may be focused on advancing his career, securing financial stability, and planning for the future. These diverse plans and goals can cause a strain in the relationship.

Legal Considerations

In some countries or regions, there are legal restrictions on the age at which people can date or marry. These laws are designed to protect minors and vulnerable individuals from exploitation. If you reside in such states or countries, you will have to comply with these laws.

Social Views and Stigma

Despite growing acceptance of age-gap relationships, particularly in Western societies, they still face disapproval and stigma from certain families and social circles.. People in such relationships are often ridiculed by friends and family and given hurtful labels. This kind of stigma could be frustrating and may put a strain on the relationship.

Old Age Concerns

The younger partner may face more caregiving duties, especially when the age gap is wide. For example, if a 22-year-old is in a relationship with a 60-year-old man, she may have to care for him as he grows older and faces health challenges

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Why Age Shouldn’t Define Your Relationship

When it comes to love, age really is just a number. Here are some compelling reasons why you shouldn’t let age dictate who you choose to love:

Mutual Learning and Growth

Relationships with an age gap offer unique opportunities for growth. The younger partner gains valuable life wisdom and insight into what the future might hold, while the older partner gets a fresh perspective on youth culture and how younger minds think and feel. This exchange fosters deeper understanding and connection on both sides.

Financial Stability and Support

Dating someone older, especially in their 40s or 50s who has achieved financial stability, can provide a sense of security and support. This can be particularly helpful when you’re still building your career and finding your footing. The experience and resources of an older partner can offer you a safety net as you work toward your own breakthrough.

Final Thoughts

Age can be a factor in a relationship, but it’s far from the most important one. What truly determines the success and length of a relationship is how both people handle their differences and work together. Honesty, trust, and shared goals matter far more in love than the number of years between partners. When these foundations are strong, age becomes just a small detail in a much bigger, beautiful picture.