You’ve probably heard of ghosting and gaslighting. But there’s a newer, subtler danger lurking in modern relationships: ghostlighting. It’s sneaky, confusing, and, until recently, had no name.

Ghostlighting happens when someone disappears, with texts unanswered and calls ignored, and then, when they finally respond, they dismiss your feelings. Suddenly, you’re the “overthinking” one, questioning your own reaction. Unlike ghosting, which is abrupt and final, ghostlighting keeps you hanging in uncertainty. And unlike gaslighting, it doesn’t rely on lies; it works through inconsistency and minimization, leaving you second-guessing yourself.

Photo – Google

This isn’t just a dating quirk. Over time, ghostlighting can erode confidence, damage self-esteem, and make it hard to trust your instincts. It thrives in early relationships, but it can show up anywhere, even in long-term partnerships or friendships.

Photo – Google

How do you spot it? Watch for repeated patterns: disappearing for days or weeks, giving excuses that don’t match the behavior, dismissing your emotions, or making you feel “too sensitive.” If this sounds familiar, take it seriously. Healthy relationships are consistent, communicate openly, and respect boundaries. Ghostlighting is none of these.

Photo – Google

Naming ghostlighting isn’t about shaming anyone; it’s about recognizing harmful behavior. Once you see it for what it is, you can protect yourself, set limits, and trust your feelings again.

Relationships are complicated, but knowing the warning signs makes navigating them easier. Ghostlighting may be subtle, but understanding it is a step toward healthier connections and toward respecting yourself enough not to settle for anything less.

Monogamism is the belief that people should practice monogamy not just the act of being with one partner, but the ideology that it is the ideal, proper, or preferred relationship structure. It sits at the intersection of culture, religion, personal values, and social expectation.

Unlike simple monogamy (the practice), monogamism is the viewpoint that monogamy is the correct model for romantic life. It is a framework shaped by upbringing, tradition, and personal boundaries.

Why People Choose It

Several factors influence why people embrace monogamism:
Cultural grounding: Many communities in Nigeria, though diverse, teach commitment to one partner as part of adulthood and responsibility.

Religious influence: Christianity and Islam have a strong presence across the country, and both introduce ideas around exclusivity, fidelity, and partnership.

Emotional structure: Some individuals feel more secure when their romantic life is centred on one person, with clear expectations and stability.

This isn’t about superiority. It’s about understanding how people align their relationships with their values.

How Modern Dating Has Complicated the Conversation

While monogamism remains common, the dating landscape in Nigeria is changing quickly. Social media, career-driven lifestyles, delayed marriage, and exposure to global relationship conversations have created a wider range of choices. These shifts challenge unspoken rules that once went unquestioned.
People now explore:

° Situationships

° Exclusive dating without long-term certainty

° Open relationships within specific circles

° Marriage-focused courtship

° Traditional monogamy

This makes monogamism more of an intentional choice than something inherited without question.

The Pressures Around Monogamism

Being monogamous is one thing; being expected to be monogamous is another. In Nigerian society, those pressures show up through:

° Family expectations

° Religious community standard

° Gendered assumptions about loyall

° Fear of judgement

° Fear of being labelled

° Concern about respectability

When Nigerians talk about wellness, the conversation usually revolves aroun‎d eating right, hitting the gym, or meditating at sunrise. But there’s one part of health that rarely gets attention, even in casual conversations: sex. It’s more than pleasure; it’s a natural way to boost your mood, sharpen your body, and ease stress.

Sex works like a workout, raising your heart rate, engaging muscles, and improving circulation. It may not replace a full gym session, but it counts as physical activity. Regular intimacy has been linked to better sleep, stronger immunity, and even lower blood pressure, all without leaving your bedroom.

The mental benefits are just as powerful. Intimacy releases hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, the same chemicals that give you a rush after Sunday football or a lively dance session at a Lagos party. These natural boosts can help fight stress, ease anxiety, and improve your focus on work or studies.

Sex also helps you stay in tune with your body. It’s not about checking boxes or meeting expectations. Whether it’s the closeness with a partner or simply exploring your own body, intimacy can build confidence and remind you that wellness is about feeling alive, not just looking healthy.

For couples, regular intimacy strengthens bonds and keeps relationships resilient through everyday pressures. For singles, understanding your own needs can be just as empowering. Approaching sex intentionally, safely, and consensually makes it a way to care for yourself, rather than a chore.

In Nigeria, talking openly about sexual health can still be tricky. But including intimacy as part of your wellness routine is essential. Ignoring it doesn’t make it less important; it only limits one of the simplest ways to feel happier and healthier.

So, the next time you think about wellness, whether it’s a morning run, a smoothie, or a mindfulness session, remember that pleasure has a role too. A healthy sex life can boost your energy, improve your mood, and leave you feeling more balanced, body and mind.