Lifestyle
Unlearning the Relationship Myths We Grew Up With
From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been taught so many ideas about love and relationships—through our parents, religious teachings, cultural norms, and Nollywood. Some of these beliefs are helpful, but many are myths that lead to confusion, pain, and unrealistic expectations. In Nigeria, where love and family are held in high regard, it’s time we start unlearning the relationship myths we grew up with—and replace them with healthier truths.
“True Love Conquers All”

We grew up hearing that as long as you truly love someone, everything would somehow work out. But in reality, love by itself isn’t always enough. You can love someone deeply and still struggle with communication, clashing values, financial stress, or personal growth. Thinking love fixes everything can make you overlook real issues that need to be addressed. Yes, love is the foundation—but it needs honesty, respect, and effort to thrive.
“Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”

In Nigerian society, Marriage is often seen as a final achievement or prize. Once a woman reaches a certain age, family members start asking, “When are you getting married?” But the truth is, marriage is not the end goal of life. It’s a journey shared with another person, not a final stop. Rushing into marriage to meet expectations or or avoid pressure can lead to unhappy unions. It’s okay to focus on personal growth, build your career, or take time to heal before choosing a life partner.
“You Must Marry Within Your Tribe or Religion”

This myth still persists in many homes. Some families believe love should only happen within your tribe or faith. But love often defies those boundaries. People from different backgrounds can have strong, happy relationships if they share the same values and are willing to respect each other’s differences. While family input is important, your happiness and peace should come first. Love should be about connection, not just culture.
“One Person Must Always Lead”

Traditionally, we’re taught that the man leads while the woman follows. But in today’s world, a relationship should feel like teamwork. Decisions should be made together, with both partners feeling heard. Whether it’s finances, parenting, or life plans, both voices matter. Respect and understanding make relationships stronger—not control.
“Jealousy Means You Care”

Many people mistake jealousy for love. Some believe if their partner isn’t jealous, then they must not care. But jealousy often comes from fear and insecurity, not love. Monitoring phones, interrogating, or arguing over harmless friendships can damage trust. Real love is built on trust, not control. If something is bothering you, have an open conversation instead of jumping to conclusions.
“Stay No Matter What” vs. “Leave at the First Fight”

We’ve often been stuck between two extremes. Some believe you should stay no matter what—even when it’s toxic. Others think that any problem means it’s time to leave. But the truth lies somewhere in between. Not every argument means the relationship should end, and not every relationship should be saved. The key is learning to tell the difference. If the issues are fixable, work through them together. If the relationship becomes harmful, it’s okay to walk away.
How to Unlearn These Myths

Unlearning doesn’t happen overnight. It starts by asking yourself where your beliefs came from and whether they’re still serving you in a healthy way. Talk with people you trust about what you’re discovering. Watch couples who have balanced and honest relationships—not perfect couples, but real, emotionally honest ones. Set clear boundaries for what you want in love, and communicate them with your partner. Listen more. Talk openly. When you both navigate conflict or tough conversations with more care, celebrate those moments.
Love is beautiful—but to truly enjoy it, we must unlearn the myths we’ve been told.
The truth is, every relationship is different. What works for others might not suit you—and that’s perfectly fine.
By letting go of beliefs like “love conquers all” or “marry before you run out of time,” you give yourself a better chance at finding real, lasting happiness. Choose what works for you.
Build a love that fits your heart—not just society’s script.
Lifestyle
Ramadan Is Here! Meaningful Ways to Make the Most of the Holy Month
Ramadan arrives each year with predictable changes in daily routine: altered sleep schedules, crowded mosques, slower afternoons, and long evenings built around prayer and shared meals. Beyond fasting from dawn to sunset, the month is a time for reassessment. It invites a review of habits, relationships, priorities, and how time is used. For many people, the challenge is not understanding Ramadan’s significance, but turning intention into daily action. Making the most of the month requires planning.

Photo Credit – Google
Fasting is often treated as an endurance task, measured by hunger and thirst. It can also be understood as training in self-discipline. The same self-control that prevents eating or drinking can be applied to speech, spending, and digital habits. Limiting idle scrolling, avoiding unnecessary arguments, and reducing impulsive purchases turns fasting into a broad change in habits. Attaching a non-food discipline to the fast makes the lesson practical. A fixed daily break from social media or a strict rule against gossip shifts the focus of fasting beyond physical hunger and into conduct, reflecting the ethical principles Ramadan emphasizes.

Photo Credit – Google
Ambition can undermine consistency. Many people begin the month with intense plans that collapse by the second week. A better strategy is to design a schedule that fits existing responsibilities. Short, consistent acts are more effective than occasional extremes. A manageable plan might include a set number of Qur’an pages each day, a weekly charity contribution, and specific prayer goals that account for work and family life. Schedule these commitments clearly. Treating worship with the same seriousness as appointments makes it sustainable.
Suhoor and iftar can easily become rushed or indulgent, yet they frame the day. Eating mindfully changes their purpose. Choosing balanced portions, avoiding excess, and beginning with gratitude reinforces the reason for fasting: awareness of dependence and self-control. Families can turn iftar into a daily checkpoint. A short conversation about what each person learned or struggled with during the fast adds reflection to the daily pattern and encourages accountability.

Photo Credit – Google
Charitable giving often peaks in the final nights, but spreading it across the month makes the effort more consistent. Setting a daily or weekly plan, even in small amounts, builds discipline. Charity is not limited to money. Time, skills, and attention also count. Organizing a recurring act of service, such as food distribution or tutoring, turns generosity into regular action and helps it continue after Ramadan ends.
The month also offers an opportunity to repair strained relationships. Reaching out to relatives, apologizing for past conflicts, or reopening communication with friends should be intentional, not postponed. Listing a few relationships that need attention and assigning each one a specific action, a call, visit, or message, makes reconciliation a clear objective.

Photo Credit – Google
Ramadan fatigue is real. Late nights and early mornings disrupt sleep, affecting mood and concentration. Protecting energy is as important as protecting hours. Strategic naps, simplified meals, and realistic social commitments help maintain focus on worship. Reducing unnecessary engagements is a matter of priorities. The month is temporary, and preserving energy allows fuller participation in prayer and reflection.
An overlooked part of making the most of Ramadan is planning for what follows it. The purpose of the month is not a temporary increase in devotion that disappears afterward. Identifying one or two practices to continue, a weekly fast, a fixed charity amount, or daily reading, connects Ramadan to the rest of the year. Writing these commitments down before the month ends increases the chance they last. Ramadan then becomes a period meant to shape long-term habits rather than a one-time experience.
Sex & Relashionships
Love or Compatibility: What Really Makes a Relationship Last
When people talk about lasting love, they often mean the initial excitement or spark. It’s easy to assume that if two people love each other, nothing else matters. But experience and research show that what keeps relationships strong over time is rarely just passion. More often, it is compatibility, the practical alignment of values, lifestyle, and life goals.
Romantic chemistry is powerful. Studies show that attraction activates the brain’s reward centres, triggering strong positive feelings. But this excitement naturally fades as initial excitement diminishes. Relationships that rely mainly on this early spark often struggle when daily challenges and responsibilities arise. When couples say “we just fell out of love,” it is usually because the initial chemistry was not supported by deeper compatibility.

Photo Credit – Google
Compatibility is not about liking the same movies or hobbies. It is about aligning on core aspects of life: values, ambitions, communication styles, emotional rhythms, and expectations. Couples who share these foundations navigate conflicts with less friction, make decisions together on major matters like finances and family, enjoy day-to-day life, and support each other’s growth. Compatibility allows a relationship to function even during challenges. Without it, the relationship can still function, but it is vulnerable to stress and disagreement.

Photo Credit – Google
Research shows that love alone does not predict long-term satisfaction; compatibility does. Couples who share beliefs, communicate effectively, and pursue common life goals report more stable and satisfying relationships. Shared values help couples prioritise what matters most, aligned communication reduces misunderstandings, common goals create direction, and emotional attunement builds resilience when life gets tough. Compatibility also grows with effort. Couples who negotiate, adapt, and understand each other’s needs strengthen their bond over time.

Photo Credit – Credit
Love still plays a role. It motivates commitment and encourages couples to invest in the relationship. A relationship with love but no compatibility can feel exciting early on, but it is likely to struggle when reality tests expectations. Conversely, two compatible people who do not nurture emotional connection risk forming a partnership lacking emotional depth.

Photo Credit – Google
For relationships that last in the Nigerian context, where extended family, social expectations, and financial pressures often come into play, compatibility is critical. Couples should focus on honest communication, shared future goals, conflict resolution, trust, and supporting each other’s personal growth. When love and compatibility work together, the relationship is better able to handle daily challenges.
Lasting partnerships are not built solely on emotion. They are built intentionally. They require daily choices, mutual understanding, and the willingness to grow together. This sustains relationships.
Lifestyle
Abuja’s 6 Classic Restaurants Worth Visiting
Abuja’s restaurant culture has expanded over the past decade, shaped by a growing professional population and dining habits that prioritise repeatable quality. While new venues continue to appear across the city, only a few become regular choices rather than occasional stops. The restaurants on this list have continued to attract regular diners by limiting their menus to well-defined offerings and maintaining consistent food quality and service. Located across Wuse 2, Maitama, Mabushi and Gwarinpa, they reflect a range of cuisines and dining formats, with a shared emphasis on consistent execution. Their continued relevance is driven less by visibility or short-term trends and more by repeat patronage, making them regular reference points within Abuja’s everyday dining landscape.
Wakkis Food – Indian Cuisine with Depth
171 Aminu Kano Crescent, Wuse 2, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
Wakkis Food remains one of Abuja’s most dependable options for Indian cuisine. Located in Wuse 2, the restaurant focuses on well-established Indian dishes prepared with proper spice balance and technique. Meals such as biryani, kaathi rolls and tandoori selections are robust, reflecting a kitchen that prioritises accuracy over adaptation.
The space itself is simple and functional, which suits its core audience: diners who value flavour and portion consistency. It works equally well for weekday lunches and relaxed dinners, making it a regular stop for both locals and visitors seeking familiar Indian staples.
Tulip Bistro – Refined Dining in Wuse 2
Sunset Place, Wuse 2, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
Tulip Bistro has positioned itself as a refined but accessible dining option within Wuse 2. Its menu leans towards continental and European-style dishes, presented with attention to balance and presentation. The restaurant’s interior supports quieter dining, making it suitable for conversations that require privacy without formality.
Rather than chasing trends, Tulip Bistro maintains a steady approach to its offerings. This has helped it retain a loyal customer base drawn to its calm atmosphere and dependable service, particularly for evening meals and business-related dining.
Woks & Koi – Contemporary Asian Dining
18 Durban Street, Wuse 2, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
Woks & Koi offers a contemporary take on Asian cuisine, with a menu that spans Chinese and broader Pan-Asian influences. Its appeal lies in the combination of structured plating, controlled flavours and a modern dining environment that feels deliberate rather than decorative.
The restaurant is often chosen for group dinners and formal entertaining, largely due to its consistent service and menu variety. While individual dish preferences may differ, Woks & Koi maintains a reputation for reliability within Abuja’s Asian dining space.
Chopsticks – A Maitama Staple
52 Mississippi Street, Maitama, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
Chopsticks has long been part of Abuja’s restaurant landscape, particularly in Maitama. Its menu focuses on classic Chinese dishes served in generous portions, appealing to diners who favour familiar flavours prepared without excessive modification.
The restaurant’s longevity is tied to its straightforward approach: predictable service, established recipes and a relaxed setting. It continues to attract families and regular patrons who prioritise comfort and consistency over experimentation.
BluCabana – A Destination Dining Experience
1322 Shehu Yar’Adua Way, Mabushi, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
BluCabana operates as more than a conventional restaurant. With its expansive layout and outdoor seating, it offers a setting that encourages extended visits rather than quick meals. The menu spans Mediterranean, Middle Eastern and international dishes, giving diners flexibility without feeling unfocused.
Its appeal lies in the overall environment. Whether for weekend lunches or evening dinners, BluCabana accommodates varied dining needs while maintaining a calm, well-managed atmosphere that separates it from smaller, enclosed venues.
Crush Cafe – Gwarinpa’s Social Anchor
55 1st Avenue, Gwarinpa Estate, Abuja

Photo Credit – Google
Crush Cafe functions as both a restaurant and a social meeting point within Gwarinpa. Its menu covers breakfast options, grills and casual meals, allowing it to remain active throughout the day. The venue is particularly popular for informal gatherings, sports viewing and relaxed evenings.
Rather than relying solely on food, Crush Cafe benefits from its layout and programming, which encourages repeat visits. It remains one of the area’s most recognisable spots for casual dining combined with a lively but controlled atmosphere.
Final Note
These restaurants continue to attract steady patronage because they prioritise consistency in food quality, service delivery and atmosphere. In a city where new dining spots appear frequently, their ability to remain relevant reflects clear positioning and sustained standards rather than short-term appeal.
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