Lifestyle
Unlearning the Relationship Myths We Grew Up With
From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been taught so many ideas about love and relationships—through our parents, religious teachings, cultural norms, and Nollywood. Some of these beliefs are helpful, but many are myths that lead to confusion, pain, and unrealistic expectations. In Nigeria, where love and family are held in high regard, it’s time we start unlearning the relationship myths we grew up with—and replace them with healthier truths.
“True Love Conquers All”

We grew up hearing that as long as you truly love someone, everything would somehow work out. But in reality, love by itself isn’t always enough. You can love someone deeply and still struggle with communication, clashing values, financial stress, or personal growth. Thinking love fixes everything can make you overlook real issues that need to be addressed. Yes, love is the foundation—but it needs honesty, respect, and effort to thrive.
“Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”

In Nigerian society, Marriage is often seen as a final achievement or prize. Once a woman reaches a certain age, family members start asking, “When are you getting married?” But the truth is, marriage is not the end goal of life. It’s a journey shared with another person, not a final stop. Rushing into marriage to meet expectations or or avoid pressure can lead to unhappy unions. It’s okay to focus on personal growth, build your career, or take time to heal before choosing a life partner.
“You Must Marry Within Your Tribe or Religion”

This myth still persists in many homes. Some families believe love should only happen within your tribe or faith. But love often defies those boundaries. People from different backgrounds can have strong, happy relationships if they share the same values and are willing to respect each other’s differences. While family input is important, your happiness and peace should come first. Love should be about connection, not just culture.
“One Person Must Always Lead”

Traditionally, we’re taught that the man leads while the woman follows. But in today’s world, a relationship should feel like teamwork. Decisions should be made together, with both partners feeling heard. Whether it’s finances, parenting, or life plans, both voices matter. Respect and understanding make relationships stronger—not control.
“Jealousy Means You Care”

Many people mistake jealousy for love. Some believe if their partner isn’t jealous, then they must not care. But jealousy often comes from fear and insecurity, not love. Monitoring phones, interrogating, or arguing over harmless friendships can damage trust. Real love is built on trust, not control. If something is bothering you, have an open conversation instead of jumping to conclusions.
“Stay No Matter What” vs. “Leave at the First Fight”

We’ve often been stuck between two extremes. Some believe you should stay no matter what—even when it’s toxic. Others think that any problem means it’s time to leave. But the truth lies somewhere in between. Not every argument means the relationship should end, and not every relationship should be saved. The key is learning to tell the difference. If the issues are fixable, work through them together. If the relationship becomes harmful, it’s okay to walk away.
How to Unlearn These Myths

Unlearning doesn’t happen overnight. It starts by asking yourself where your beliefs came from and whether they’re still serving you in a healthy way. Talk with people you trust about what you’re discovering. Watch couples who have balanced and honest relationships—not perfect couples, but real, emotionally honest ones. Set clear boundaries for what you want in love, and communicate them with your partner. Listen more. Talk openly. When you both navigate conflict or tough conversations with more care, celebrate those moments.
Love is beautiful—but to truly enjoy it, we must unlearn the myths we’ve been told.
The truth is, every relationship is different. What works for others might not suit you—and that’s perfectly fine.
By letting go of beliefs like “love conquers all” or “marry before you run out of time,” you give yourself a better chance at finding real, lasting happiness. Choose what works for you.
Build a love that fits your heart—not just society’s script.
Lifestyle
Ring in 2026 in Style: Tips for a Memorable Start
As December comes to an end, New Year’s Eve in many Nigerian cities is no longer treated as an automatic night out. For a growing number of people, the evening has shifted away from obligation toward something more selective. Many are choosing to mark the transition into 2026 in ways that feel manageable and deliberate.
The tone of the night is often decided early. Smaller gatherings have become more common, influenced by cost considerations, traffic, and a preference for familiar environments. When expectations are set in advance, planning becomes straightforward instead of reactive. Dress codes, where they exist, tend to be simple and functional, helping guests arrive appropriately. Some hosts build in a brief pause before midnight, letting everyone experience it without pressure.

Photo Credit – Google
In homes, layout plays a practical role. How furniture is arranged often determines how long guests stay and how easily conversations happen. Clear walkways, defined seating areas, and visible gathering points reduce congestion and make movement natural. Decoration is generally restrained. Lighting, ventilation, and comfort take priority, with a few visual details used to anchor the space without dominating the space.
Food arrangements reflect the same thinking. Formal sit-down meals are increasingly replaced by sharing plates of food, arranging snacks for everyone to help themselves, or serving small bites throughout the night, allowing people to eat without interrupting conversation. This approach suits gatherings where guests arrive at different times and prefer flexibility. Drink selections are also more balanced. Alongside alcohol, hosts pay attention to non-alcoholic options that feel intentional.

Photo Credit – Google
Engagement before midnight has become less dependent on volume. Music remains central, but it is often supported by simple activities that encourage interaction. Photo corners, curated playlists, card games, or informal drink stations give guests something to do without demanding attention. These moments tend to develop naturally and are often what people remember afterward.
Midnight is marked with care. A shared countdown followed by a collective toast brings focus back to the room. Instead of formal resolutions, some groups exchange one practical intention for the year ahead. This keeps the moment grounded and avoids performative declarations.

Photo Credit – Instagram
After midnight, the pace usually slows. Some guests continue celebrating, while others settle into conversation or share a final meal before leaving. This shift allows the evening to close gradually, accommodating different energy levels without forcing a single rhythm on everyone.
Starting 2026 well, for many Nigerians, is no longer about how extravagantly the year is welcomed. When New Year’s Eve is planned around practical considerations such as time, cost, comfort, and company, it becomes easier to step into the new year clear-headed, rested, and ready for what follows.
Lifestyle
Here Is Where to Celebrate New Year’s Eve in Abuja
As the year draws to an end, celebrating here in Abuja. The air buzzes with energy, the city provides vibrant culture, opulent dining options and a busy nightlife scene.
Below are three spots in Abuja to celebrate New year’s Eve.
Millennium Park

Photo Credit – Google
Millennium Park remains a popular option with both locals and visitors, thanks to its calm atmosphere and well-planned layout. It is a place for those looking to slow down and step away from the usual city rush. The park is suitable for families, solo visitors, and groups of friends who want space to relax and enjoy simple outdoor activities.
On New Year’s Eve, it becomes a comfortable spot for people who want a peaceful setting to relax, connect, and welcome the year in a quiet manner.
Transcorp Hilton Abuja – For a New Year’s Dinner

Photo Credit – Google
This luxury hotel often hosts glamorous parties with fine-dining and breathtaking views of the city. If what you are aiming for as the year turns includes dressing up nice and having a well-prepared meal, then Transcorp Hilton Abuja is worth considering. Dinner here is carefully organised. The menus are well-accurated, the service is attentive and the overall setting is comfortable. It is ideal for families, friends and couples who want to mark the end of the year in a quiet setting.
Oso Lounge

Photo Credit – Google
Oso Lounge is known for its upscale social atmosphere , making it an ideal place to relax and soak in the New Year’s energy. The bar serves impeccably made drinks alongside a menu that includes both small plates and full meals, making it suitable for festive dining. With resident DJs and music, the space stays lively and shapes the mood for a New Year’s Eve.
Sex & Relashionships
Ghostlighting: The Relationship Red Flag People Are Only Just Naming
You’ve probably heard of ghosting and gaslighting. But there’s a newer, subtler danger lurking in modern relationships: ghostlighting. It’s sneaky, confusing, and, until recently, had no name.
Ghostlighting happens when someone disappears, with texts unanswered and calls ignored, and then, when they finally respond, they dismiss your feelings. Suddenly, you’re the “overthinking” one, questioning your own reaction. Unlike ghosting, which is abrupt and final, ghostlighting keeps you hanging in uncertainty. And unlike gaslighting, it doesn’t rely on lies; it works through inconsistency and minimization, leaving you second-guessing yourself.

Photo – Google
This isn’t just a dating quirk. Over time, ghostlighting can erode confidence, damage self-esteem, and make it hard to trust your instincts. It thrives in early relationships, but it can show up anywhere, even in long-term partnerships or friendships.

Photo – Google
How do you spot it? Watch for repeated patterns: disappearing for days or weeks, giving excuses that don’t match the behavior, dismissing your emotions, or making you feel “too sensitive.” If this sounds familiar, take it seriously. Healthy relationships are consistent, communicate openly, and respect boundaries. Ghostlighting is none of these.

Photo – Google
Naming ghostlighting isn’t about shaming anyone; it’s about recognizing harmful behavior. Once you see it for what it is, you can protect yourself, set limits, and trust your feelings again.
Relationships are complicated, but knowing the warning signs makes navigating them easier. Ghostlighting may be subtle, but understanding it is a step toward healthier connections and toward respecting yourself enough not to settle for anything less.
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