Emotional pain doesn’t always show on the surface. For many, the hardest blow is being left behind, whether by a parent, a partner, or someone they trusted. That kind of loss can linger quietly into adulthood. You might cling too tightly in relationships, fear rejection before it even happens, or struggle to believe people will stay. These patterns often point to what psychologists call abandonment issues.

Recognising them is the first step to healing. Here are common signs and ways to start moving forward.

Trust Feels Difficult

If every new relationship feels like a test, abandonment fears may be at play. Expecting people to leave makes it hard to feel secure and even harder to maintain healthy connections.

Pulling Away Before You Get Hurt

Some protect themselves by leaving before they can be left. It feels safer to pull back, but this defence often creates the very loneliness it tries to prevent.

Needing Constant Reassurance

Everyone wants comfort sometimes, but constantly seeking proof of love or loyalty can become draining. That need can slowly wear down friendships and romantic partnerships.

Trouble Setting Boundaries

Fears of being abandoned can push people into over-giving, tolerating too much, or staying in unhealthy situations just to avoid being alone. Over time, this erodes self-worth.

Overreacting to Distance

When someone misses a call, travels, or becomes busy, it can feel like rejection. Small absences may trigger intense reactions, even when no harm was intended.

Steps Toward Healing

Admitting the wound is not weakness; it is proof you are ready to grow. Healing is less about erasing the past and more about learning to live without fear controlling your relationships.

Learn to Self-Soothe

Rather than relying on others to calm your anxiety, practise grounding techniques: deep breathing, journaling, prayer, or meditation. These habits build resilience.

Talk About It

Keeping it to yourself often strengthens the fear. Therapy, counselling, or honest conversations with a trusted friend can help you trace the roots of your feelings.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Balanced relationships require mutual respect. Learning to say no, honour your needs, and avoid overextending yourself helps you feel secure without clinging.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

When your mind whispers “they’ll leave,” pause and ask: Is this fear or fact? Reframing your thoughts gradually weakens the cycle of anxiety.

Be Patient With Yourself

Healing is not linear. Some days will feel easier than others, but every step counts. Awareness alone is already progress.

Abandonment issues do not have to define your life. By recognising the signs and taking steady steps to heal, you can build relationships rooted in trust rather than fear. Most importantly, you can begin to see yourself as enough, regardless of who stays or goes.

Every couple faces moments that test their patience—an argument that won’t end, a decision that feels impossible, or emotions running so high that walking away seems easier than talking it out. In those moments, one person usually steps up to calm things down, take responsibility, and guide the relationship forward. That person, the adult, helps guide the partnership through rough patches. Knowing whether you play this role can give you clearer insight into the dynamics of your connection.

Stay Calm When Conflict Hits

Disagreements are inevitable, but how you respond to them sets the tone for the relationship. Acting from anger or pride only fuels tension, while maturity shows in the ability to stay calm, listen, and express yourself without blame. By focusing on solutions rather than winning an argument, you prevent minor issues from turning into major battles. Over time, your partner learns that disagreements can be faced without fear, because you approach them with steadiness and respect.

Keep Your Cool When Emotions Soar

Strong feelings come with love, but maturity means not letting them dictate your actions. Instead of snapping back or shutting down, you pause, reflect, and choose your response carefully. This steadiness reassures your partner that even in heated moments, the relationship isn’t at risk. It creates an environment where both of you can be open without worrying about rejection or overreaction.

Own Your Mistakes

Everyone slips up, but adults recognize when they’re wrong and take responsibility without excuses. A sincere apology goes further than defensiveness, because it shows humility and respect for your partner. Acknowledging your role in a conflict and making genuine efforts to improve demonstrates that growth matters more than ego. That honesty strengthens confidence in each other and keeps the relationship moving forward.

Balance Togetherness and Independence

Maturity also shows in how you balance closeness with individuality. Love doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means sharing life while still maintaining your own goals, friendships, and interests. When both partners nurture their independence, the relationship feels less stifling and more supportive. This balance allows you to grow side by side, rather than at the expense of one another.

Listen and Find Common Ground

A relationship thrives when both voices matter. Maturity is shown in your willingness to hear your partner out, even when you disagree, and to weigh options fairly. Instead of pushing for control, you aim for cooperation. Finding common ground reassures your partner that their feelings are respected, and decisions become a joint effort rather than a power struggle.

Set and Respect Boundaries

Boundaries are not barriers: they are healthy limits that protect respect and understanding. Adults communicate their needs clearly and also honor their partner’s limits. Whether it’s about time, money, or emotional expectations, boundaries keep the relationship balanced and reduce misunderstandings. When both partners feel their limits are respected, trust deepens naturally.

The Bottom Line

True maturity in a relationship isn’t measured by age, but by patience, awareness, and consistency. When you bring these qualities into your partnership, you create stability, respect, and room for growth. And if you recognize these traits in yourself, you’re already shaping a connection that’s balanced, healthy, and built to last.

In the heart of Lagos, where dreams often outpace reality, a young boy named Ramon Olorunwa Abbas watched the world from a different lens.

Born on October 11, 1982, into humble beginnings, with a taxi-driving father and a bread-selling mother, survival was the name of the game. The bustling streets of Lagos taught him that money wasn’t just power. He attended Government College in Ikorodu, Lagos State, for his secondary education. Before achieving international notoriety, he reportedly sold second-hand clothes in Lagos before relocating to Malaysia, spending some time there before moving to Dubai.

Hushpuppi’s family background was modest. His father was a taxi driver, and his mother sold bread in Lagos. According to reports, his mother did not support his lavish lifestyle and warned him several times to stop flaunting his wealth online. He also had an elder sister who, according to him, died in Gbagada Hospital, Ikeja Lagos, while awaiting typhoid and malaria treatment. He blamed the Nigerian government for both her death and that of his stepmother, citing negligence.

Fast forward a few years, and Lagos could barely contain him. Ramon, now known as Hushpuppi, had upgraded from the dusty markets of Balogun to the glitzy skyscrapers of Dubai. He wasn’t just rich—he was filthy rich, or at least that’s what his Instagram feed screamed. Rolls-Royces, Ferraris, Dior head-to-toe, private jets, penthouses overlooking the Arabian Gulf.

Hushpuppi wasn’t just living the dream; he was selling it to millions of eager followers. His social circle included individuals like Ismaila Mustapha, popularly known as Mompha, a Nigerian billionaire and once a close friend. However, their relationship reportedly soured over time. He was also associated with several Nigerian celebrities and flaunted his connections on social media.

But behind the designer shades and Cartier bracelets lay a secret. Money doesn’t just appear, and wealth without a trace always has a backstory. As the world marveled at his extravagant lifestyle, law enforcement agencies were quietly piecing together the puzzle of how this former second-hand clothes seller had become the self-proclaimed “Billionaire Gucci Master.”

Relationships and Personal Life
Hushpuppi had three children from three different women. Two of them lived in London, and the third lived in New York City. His first baby mama, Miss Sho, gave birth to his first son, Dior. However, their relationship turned sour in 2017 when she accused him of being a deadbeat dad, a claim he denied by posting receipts of financial transactions and gifts for his son.

Little is known about his second baby mama, except that she is the mother of Jayden, his daughter and second child.
In 2018, Hushpuppi got married to Shawana Nakesia Chapman, a citizen of St. Kitts and Nevis. This marriage helped him obtain citizenship in the Caribbean nation.

There were also rumors of past relationships with Nollywood actress Tonto Dikeh and German model Amirah Dyme. Dikeh denied involvement, while Dyme distanced herself from Hushpuppi after his arrest, calling him out for flaunting stolen money.

Extravagant Lifestyle and Notoriety
Hushpuppi was widely known for his extravagant lifestyle, which he flaunted boldly on social media. His collection of luxury cars was jaw-dropping, including a 2020 Rolls-Royce Cullinan, a Ferrari 458 Italia, a Bentley Bentayga SUV, and a Rolls-Royce Wraith. He also claimed to own a private jet, a blend of luxury, extravagance, and controversy.

He was also known for his love of luxury travel, visiting exotic destinations, staying in five-star hotels, and dining at the finest restaurants. He reportedly had a St. Kitts and Nevis passport, which allowed him to travel freely.

Before his arrest in 2020, Hushpuppi lived in Dubai, where he resided in a luxury apartment. He favored designer brands like Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Versace, flaunting his latest purchases on social media. His nights were often filled with partying and rubbing shoulders with celebrities and influencers.
Despite his lavish lifestyle, Hushpuppi was also known for his philanthropic efforts. He frequently donated to charitable causes in Nigeria and often surprised his friends and followers with expensive gifts. However, his lifestyle was not without controversy. Many criticized him for flaunting his wealth in a country where poverty was widespread. He was also accused of promoting materialism and influencing youths to engage in fraudulent activities.

Arrest and Conviction

For years, Hushpuppi maintained that he was a real estate developer, using this narrative to justify his flamboyant lifestyle. However, beneath the surface, authorities were closing in on him.
In June 2020, Dubai’s finest stormed his lavish residence in a raid known as Fox Hunt 2, uncovering over $40 million in cash, 13 luxury cars, and evidence of scams worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The same Instagram that made him famous became his downfall, as videos of his arrest spread like wildfire.

He was later transferred to the United States, where he was accused of orchestrating scams involving business email compromise (BEC) fraud, defrauding companies and individuals of millions of dollars. His arrest shocked many who admired his lifestyle, exposing the dark reality behind his wealth.

His friend, Mompha, was also arrested the same year but was later released. Contrary to various claims that Hushpuppi had been freed, he remains incarcerated. In 2022, he was sentenced to 11 years behind bars, trading silk sheets for a prison cot.

The Lesson

Hushpuppi’s story is a modern-day rags-to-riches-to-ruins tale. It’s a reminder that not all that glitters is gold and that sometimes, the most expensive lifestyle comes with the highest price.

His story is also a clear reflection of modern society’s obsession with wealth and materialism and a stark reminder that success built on deception is fleeting. His downfall served as a cautionary tale, true wealth and success come from hard work, integrity, and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world.