Lifestyle
Unlearning the Relationship Myths We Grew Up With

From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been taught so many ideas about love and relationships—through our parents, religious teachings, cultural norms, and Nollywood. Some of these beliefs are helpful, but many are myths that lead to confusion, pain, and unrealistic expectations. In Nigeria, where love and family are held in high regard, it’s time we start unlearning the relationship myths we grew up with—and replace them with healthier truths.
“True Love Conquers All”
We grew up hearing that as long as you truly love someone, everything would somehow work out. But in reality, love by itself isn’t always enough. You can love someone deeply and still struggle with communication, clashing values, financial stress, or personal growth. Thinking love fixes everything can make you overlook real issues that need to be addressed. Yes, love is the foundation—but it needs honesty, respect, and effort to thrive.
“Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”
In Nigerian society, Marriage is often seen as a final achievement or prize. Once a woman reaches a certain age, family members start asking, “When are you getting married?” But the truth is, marriage is not the end goal of life. It’s a journey shared with another person, not a final stop. Rushing into marriage to meet expectations or or avoid pressure can lead to unhappy unions. It’s okay to focus on personal growth, build your career, or take time to heal before choosing a life partner.
“You Must Marry Within Your Tribe or Religion”
This myth still persists in many homes. Some families believe love should only happen within your tribe or faith. But love often defies those boundaries. People from different backgrounds can have strong, happy relationships if they share the same values and are willing to respect each other’s differences. While family input is important, your happiness and peace should come first. Love should be about connection, not just culture.
“One Person Must Always Lead”
Traditionally, we’re taught that the man leads while the woman follows. But in today’s world, a relationship should feel like teamwork. Decisions should be made together, with both partners feeling heard. Whether it’s finances, parenting, or life plans, both voices matter. Respect and understanding make relationships stronger—not control.
“Jealousy Means You Care”
Many people mistake jealousy for love. Some believe if their partner isn’t jealous, then they must not care. But jealousy often comes from fear and insecurity, not love. Monitoring phones, interrogating, or arguing over harmless friendships can damage trust. Real love is built on trust, not control. If something is bothering you, have an open conversation instead of jumping to conclusions.
“Stay No Matter What” vs. “Leave at the First Fight”
We’ve often been stuck between two extremes. Some believe you should stay no matter what—even when it’s toxic. Others think that any problem means it’s time to leave. But the truth lies somewhere in between. Not every argument means the relationship should end, and not every relationship should be saved. The key is learning to tell the difference. If the issues are fixable, work through them together. If the relationship becomes harmful, it’s okay to walk away.
How to Unlearn These Myths
Unlearning doesn’t happen overnight. It starts by asking yourself where your beliefs came from and whether they’re still serving you in a healthy way. Talk with people you trust about what you’re discovering. Watch couples who have balanced and honest relationships—not perfect couples, but real, emotionally honest ones. Set clear boundaries for what you want in love, and communicate them with your partner. Listen more. Talk openly. When you both navigate conflict or tough conversations with more care, celebrate those moments.
Love is beautiful—but to truly enjoy it, we must unlearn the myths we’ve been told.
The truth is, every relationship is different. What works for others might not suit you—and that’s perfectly fine.
By letting go of beliefs like “love conquers all” or “marry before you run out of time,” you give yourself a better chance at finding real, lasting happiness. Choose what works for you.
Build a love that fits your heart—not just society’s script.
Lifestyle
Morning Sex: More Nigerians are Starting the Day in Bed

There’s a quiet but palpable change happening in Nigerian bedrooms—and it’s taking place in the mornings. More and more, Nigerians are starting the day no longer with tea or a traffic report, but with intimacy. Sex in the morning, once a private pleasure, is becoming mainstream as one of the couple’s daily rituals across the country, driven by changes in attitudes toward wellness, relationships, and work-life, not just for pleasure, but as a health plan.
It was discovered in recent polls by lifestyle and dating websites in the major cities of Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt that more than 60% of Nigerian adults aged 25 to 45 admit to having engaged in morning intimacy at least once in the past month. Of them, nearly 40% say that it has become a matter of weekly habit.
Experts point out several factors fuelling this trend. Advances in remote and flexible working have reduced the morning commute for many city dwellers. With commutes either reduced or eliminated completely, couples have more time to connect with each other before the workday begins. In the meantime, there is greater awareness of the health benefits associated with morning intimacy—both mental and physical.
“Morning sex releases endorphins and oxytocin, which reduce stress and promote emotional bonding,” explains Dr. Ifeoma Ajayi, a Lagos psychologist and wellness coach. “It’s said to lift your mood, improve your concentration, and even benefit immune function.” It’s a natural kick-start for the day.”
For some, it’s also reviving closeness in long-term relationships. Relationship advisors say many couples struggle to incorporate quality time together into packed schedules after long workdays. Mornings that were once filled with alarm clocks and hurrying around are now being reclaimed for connection.
“There’s a shift in culture, indeed,” says Chuka Eze, who edits the relationship column for Naija Living Today. “Nigerians are more openly talking about sex and intimacy, not merely as personal acts, but as components of overall health and relationship health.”
This trend is not limited to youth or city residents alone. Whether experienced professionals living in Ibadan or just-wed couples in Enugu, couples across all of Nigeria are embracing the notion that the way you wake up dictates everything that follows.
Local brands are beginning to take notice. Lifestyle brands are selling “slow mornings,” and even some wellness influencers are adding intimacy into their morning routine videos. It recently featured one TikTok video that broke the internet where a couple talked about how “morning love” changed their relationship and it accumulated over 1.2 million views.
Talking about sex openly still makes many people uncomfortable, even as attitudes slowly begin to change. In many communities, it’s a topic wrapped in silence, with calls for privacy often clashing with the growing need for honest conversations around intimacy and sexual well-being.
Yet, despite the hush, more Nigerians are embracing morning sex as part of everyday life. For some, it’s about nurturing love and connection. For others, it’s a way to start the day on a happier, healthier note. Whatever the reason, it’s becoming clear that this isn’t just a passing trend—it’s a gentle shift toward living more intentionally, even in how we express intimacy.
Lifestyle
Beyond Spa Days: What Self-Care Looks Like Now

Not long ago, self-care was something people associated with indulgence. A face mask here, a long bath there, maybe a glass of wine and a playlist that made you feel like the main character. It was something you did on Sundays to reset before the chaos began again. But something’s shifted. These days, taking care of yourself doesn’t always look relaxing—or even enjoyable. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, it’s awkward. But it’s also more honest than ever.
For many people, self-care now means paying closer attention to what drains you—and choosing to step back, even if it’s uncomfortable. That could mean declining a group hangout because your energy’s shot. Or staying off your phone past 8 p.m. because you’re tired of bad news and dopamine loops. It’s noticing that you’re snapping more than usual, and asking why, instead of brushing it off as stress.
It’s also in the quiet routines that don’t make it to social media. Taking your meds every morning. Cooking enough food for the week because you know your future self will thank you. Booking a therapy session after putting it off for months. Tidying up—not to impress anyone—but because clutter makes it harder to think.
And there’s more nuance to it now. Resting doesn’t always mean lying on the couch all day. For some, it’s waking up early to walk before the streets get noisy. For others, it’s dropping a workout that used to feel good but now feels punishing. It’s adjusting—not quitting—when your body or brain tells you something’s off.
People are also learning that being constantly available isn’t sustainable. Ignoring texts for a while isn’t rude—it’s a boundary. Logging off isn’t lazy—it’s necessary. We’re not designed to be “on” all the time, and more people are beginning to live like that’s actually true.
Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all anymore, and maybe it never was. For a new mother, it might be asking for help without feeling guilty. For a college student, it might be dropping a class they can’t mentally keep up with. For someone grieving, it might be just getting through the day with basic hygiene and food. It’s different, and that’s okay.
The idea that self-care has to be pretty or peaceful is fading. Sometimes it looks like letting go of people you’ve outgrown. Sometimes it’s admitting you’re not okay. These aren’t feel-good moments—but they are real, and they’re part of what care actually looks like.
So no, it’s not all candles and bathrobes anymore. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because self-care shouldn’t be something we earn after burnout. It should be something we build into our lives, day by day, even if it’s messy.
Lifestyle
Five New Spots Worth Visiting in Abuja

Abuja has often been called many things—neat, quiet, sometimes too predictable. But under the surface, the city is evolving. New spaces are opening that feel less like places to be seen and more like places to feel at home. They don’t need buzzwords or gimmicks—just good food, relaxed settings, and room to breathe. Whether you’re looking for a new spot to catch up with friends or simply want a change of scene, here are five places that are getting it right.
Thyme by Flour – Clean, Calm, and Curated
Nestled on a quiet corner in Wuse, Thyme by Flour strikes a balance between simplicity and detail. With soft lighting, wood accents, and an uncluttered layout, the space invites you to slow down. The menu leans toward continental dishes, all carefully prepared without any fuss. It’s a good spot for a solo lunch, a thoughtful date, or just a quiet evening out. The staff is attentive, and the pace of the place makes you want to linger just a little longer.
Nola Abuja – A Rooftop with Room to Breathe
Up on the top floor of Natsu Mall, Nola feels like a small escape from the bustle below. The open rooftop setting lets in the breeze, and the soft music inside creates a calm atmosphere for meals or evening drinks. The food is straightforward—nothing overdone—just well-made, satisfying dishes. If you arrive early, the view at sunset is worth catching. And whether you’re with friends or keeping it quiet, you’ll find it easy to settle in.
The Gallery Clubhouse – A Tucked-Away Spot in Riverpark
Inside Riverpark Estate, off Gallery Road, The Gallery Clubhouse offers something Abuja doesn’t have enough of: space to be yourself. With indoor and outdoor seating, generous spacing between tables, and a design that’s easy on the eyes, it works just as well for quiet catch-ups as it does for solo time with your laptop or a book. Some evenings, there’s live music or art events—but the vibe stays grounded, never too loud or too still.
Barcardi Restaurant – Honest Food in a Warm Setting
Barcardi sits on a quiet Wuse 2 street, drawing in a loyal crowd looking for good food without the frills. The menu covers familiar ground—grilled meats, spicy rice dishes, and hearty portions—and it’s all delivered without delay. The lighting is soft, the music leans familiar, and the staff makes you feel welcome without being overbearing. Whether it’s a midweek dinner or an unplanned night out, it’s the kind of place you can count on.
Eko in Abuja – A Lagos Spirit with a Capital Twist
Just beside Ceddi Plaza in the city centre, Eko in Abuja brings that unmistakable Lagos energy to town. The menu doesn’t hold back—peppered meats, spicy soups, flavour-packed rice dishes—all served the way they should be: hot and full of taste. The room is always in motion, and the mix of sounds, smells, and chatter gives the space a lively heartbeat. It’s an ideal stop if you’re craving familiar flavours with the city just outside your window.
In Closing
Abuja’s newer spots don’t rely on hype. They simply deliver what many people are quietly looking for—good meals, unforced conversations, and a reason to pause for a while. Each of these places offers something a little different, but they all share the same quiet promise: you’ll feel welcome, and you’ll want to come back.
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